Tired (sara lance) 

1.8K 37 0
                                    

Honestly been feeling shitty lately so imma write about it
Trigger warning cutting ⚠️

Your POV

"Y/N" I heard a voice I stirred trying to move away from it "Y/N" I swear he sounds scared "ugh what time it is" I pull my blankets away from my face "miss Y/L/N there isn't technically a time in the temporal zone" I roll my eyes at the AI "wow thanks Gideon helpful so what do you want ray" ray fiddled with his sleeves god I'm not gonna kill him"well it's um Sara is gonna have a team meeting soon and well your apart of the team and Sara would probably like it if you were there because happy captain-" "Ray if you say happy ship I will find the hardest object closes to me and throw it at you" ok so maybe he has a good reason to be scared "ok well are you still coming to the team meeting" I put the blanket back over me "no I'm not feeling the best tell Sara I'm sorry" my tone changes to threatening to sad "alright then um feel better" he walks out of the room and I start to feel tears slowly falling down my face.

I hate myself why is it so hard to do such small things I just feel numb...I can't get up I want to I really do I want to go see my girlfriend and have a beer with Mick but I just can't I just want to feel something.

I open my nightstand drawer and stare at the blade sitting in it. I keep it there just in case but I stopped using it because of Sara but I just need to so I pick up the blade and hold it contemplating to use it or not "miss Y/L/N may I suggest you don't do that you've been clean for a couple months now since you've been dating captain Lance" I looked up at the ceiling "stocker much, and I'm not sure Gideon" I know soon as I slide it across my wrist once Gideon will tell Sara I doubt that she won't, so what does that leave me to do.

After a lot of thinking and crying and telling Gideon to stay out of my business which didn't work I can't exactly scare an AI, I take my chance sliding the blade across my wrist not to deep but just enough to feel something I didn't have time to do much I knew Sara would be hear any minute so I put the blade back in it's spot and cry myself to sleep.

Sara's POV

Miss Lance may I suggest you go to Y/N's room" Why would Gideon tell me to go to your room is this some kind of prank or something "can it wait I have a couple things I need to do before the mission"
"I don't think you should I really think you need to check on her" that put me on alert I have to make sure your ok so I walk over to your room and open the door I didn't knock I mean I've already seen you naked so what else is there to see.

I see you sleeping still Ray told me you weren't feeling well I assumed you didn't want to be in this mission but have you been sleeping this entire day? I crouch down next to you and see your eyes are all red and puffy and cheeks are stained have you been crying? Why not come to me? I put my hand on your cheek and stroke it softly, you open your eyes slowly "Sara"
She doesn't seem surprised to see me like she knew Gideon told me to come here "hey Ray said you weren't feeling well and he also said you threatened him" the corner of your mouth moved a little like you were going to smile but you didn't normally you call Ray a baby and laugh and you have this glint in your eyes but right now it's gone.

"Can I sit with you?" You nod moving over really slowly to make a space for me.
I get on the bed and not even 5 seconds later you put your head on my chest I can hear you holding in a sob "hey babe what's wrong" this time you let it out knowing I already heard you "I-I don't wanna be broken Sara I don't want to feel nothing I don't want to not be able to move in the morning I just want to be normal" you were having one of those days you've mentioned it once that you used to feel like this is high school when your mental health escalated "it's ok to have a rough day and you are normal Y/N it's completely ok to break because there is always someone who is going to pick you up I will always be here to pick up the pieces" I could hear you calm down a little "I'm sorry" I heard you mumble "there's nothing to be sorry about" I felt you shake your head you pulled out your arm in your black sweater in front of me I pulled down to sleeve and felt my eyes water.

I should have been here I should have helped "don't you dare think this is your fault Sara it was a battle for me to do it or not a long time ago I wouldn't have hesitated but now it was hard to do it because I didn't want to disappoint you" my heart shattered "baby you didn't disappoint me at all the fact that you hesitated makes me proud we all have our set backs and it happens to the best of us don't you ever think I'm disappointed in you" I took your arm and kissed the red lines on your arm "were gonna watch something and stay in bed for the rest of the night or day we really need to find something to tell time here" I heard a small giggle and that made my day "what about Lucifer?" I smiled at you "whatever you want Babe" I kiss your forehead and put on Lucifer.

Sorry if this was darker I'm gonna post more happy stuff next time

-Z

Arrowverse woman imagines Where stories live. Discover now