Officer Blue (Rick Grimes FF)

Chapter 28- A Pile On

Life is what carries us on in our darkest moments. We do the things that we have to do for our loved ones first and ourselves, second. Some people make it and fight every day of their lives to live in this shit hole. They started weak and made themselves stronger by following guidelines. They changed to an entirely new person and when you look back, it's hard to see who they once were.

There is also the weak. The ones who rely on protection from others to survive. They're are too afraid to break who they are. The ones who are scared from losing their humanity. Death is the one who gets them first, not the walkers.

I've done things ,in the beginning, i regretted but my actions are what is keeping me alive. Before and after Adrian. I was weak when he was around. Even when he was gone, it took me a while to realize i need to fight for him.

"No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it" My mom told me this when things were normal. I rethink it and notice where my light stands. As cheesey as it sounds, Rick is my light at the end of the tunnel.

~

We drag following these train tracks , which Aron says, leads to Terminus. I love my brother and i will do anything to protect him. From time to time, he looks at me like he has something to say then shuts himself down. Maybe he's upset about Beth.

"How long do you think till we get there?" I ask Bob.

"Maybe by tomorrow." My heart shatters thinking it is one more day if Rick is alive or not.

"We can be there tonight if we pick up our pace." I say under my breath.

"What do you enjoy most?" Bob has the biggest smile on his face like nothing never happened. He ignores it like it's no big deal. I ignore it and answer his question.

"What is there to enjoy now?" Aron says before i can get anything out of my mouth.

I walk besides him and put my arm over him.

"We're going to get through this. For mom, dad, Faith..." "Adrian." I say quietly hoping that Bob hasn't heard me. It kills me inside that i haven't told Rick about him. Honestly, i don't know how he'llreact. Im scared that he'll stop caring about me or just blow up on me.

Nothing i say is helping Aron. Bob tries to talk to him, even bribe him with a freshly new water bottle, but he turns it down.

"There is plently of things to enjoy. That's staying alive brother." Bob pats him on the back, trying to cheer him up again.

A little smile erupts but soon fades.

"You don't know anything."

~

We walk for what feels like an hour. Our feet are sore. Every step we take feels like hot coals.

Once in a while Bob and I would try to give Aron a little hope but he drowns it. Something is wrong and i want to know. He walks ahead of us, separating from me and Bob.

"You never answered the question." Bob reminds me.

I think about it. There are actually things i do enjoy. "No taxes or bills that's forsure." We both laugh remembering the those times.

I look at Aron as he plays with his knife in his hands. He's been doing that for the entire time we've been walking. Shaking my head, i then look up at the sky.

"I think we should make camp."

~

We sit around the fire that brings us warmth. It's also cooking up our meal, a snake. Never have i thought i would be eating a snake. It was only one and the three of us has to share. Better than nothing.

"This is the last of it." Bob holds up the water bottle with a small portion of it.

Then he hands it to me. "You deserve it."

"Thank you." I kindly take it and before i take a sip, i look at Aron.

"Actually Aron...here." My baby brother comes before me. Well this is awkward. I'm sitting here offering the last bit of water we have and he's just staring at the ground. I place it next to him. I smile when i hear a little 'thanks'.

"I can take first-"

"I got it." Aron breaks from his silence, demandingly.

"You sure man because-"

"Im sure." He says so monotone it scares me. I half smile at Bob while he shrugs his shoulders.

"Alright then. See you in the a.m." And he turns his back to us. "Good night Aron." I place my hand on his shoulder then lean against a tree a few feet from the fire.

I close my eyes, content that i get to rest again but i can't. Something is on my mind. A few yards in fromt of me stands a little boy in a red t-shirt, followed by tan shorts. He looks almost like...Adrian.

"Adrian." I say under my breath. It feels as if my heart is pounding through my chest. Automatically, tears begin to fall. My son stands before me.

He runs in circles, jumping and laughing while doing so. Right away, i get up and make my way over to him, leaving the safety of the fire. I don't care. My son is here.

With his cute little smile upon his face, he comes up to me. His brown hair falls in front of his face. As a mother, i bend down and brush it away. Then i engulf him in my arms, crying.

"I love you so much mommy." This causes me to break. "I love you-" As i open my eyes, he isn't in my arms anymore. It is as if i was hugging myself. "Adrian?!" I yell in a whisper. No no no. Not my son. Please God no!

"Iris!" Two hands are placed on each side of my shoulders.

"Iris!" The fire illuminates his face. Aron stands before me. "I saw him!" I cry. "Saw who?" He didn't see? How could you miss him?

"He was right there!" I point over to where i saw him but notice....it wasn't real.

"Adrian was right there." I grab the bottom of my shirt and wipe the tears away but they keep falling like a waterfall. The hallucination of my son kills me.

For the first time, in what feels like forever, Aron hugs me. "It's my fault!" I cry harder, trying to grasp air as i do.

He leans me against his shoulder and i lay there until I calm myself. But really, there is no such thing as "calm".

There are no crickets that usually sing their songs at night. No animals that howl for their prey. At night, the silence can make you feel a thousandthings.

"I need to tell you something and this

might be the last chance i have." Aron breaks me from my thoughts. Why is he saying last chance?