Dare to dream [Book 1]

Chapter 8 - A change for the better

I know I've lost a little part of me along with some of my 'sparkle" since losing Rhys, but when Jarrod and I were talking about it the other night I reminded him that I'm sick of feeling like everyone is babysitting me all the time. I know they're just looking out for me but I think this holiday is going to be good. I can't wait to get out of Northern Beach and head off on my adventure.

Jarrod has asked that I check on Music Box a couple of times a week which I'm ok with as I'll be happy enough just to get away from here for awhile. I'm sick of the daily reminders, I'm sick of feeling like I'm being watched all the time, I'm ready to move on and I'm keen to try a new adventure.

When I return from my break Jarrod mentioned the possibility of me working from either of the stores, which I'm totally ok with. I told him I'm keen because it will mean more time so that I can hit my favourite beach after work and I plan to hit Miles up for those surfing lessons. I'd also like to checkout some of the local clubs too, I know they are looking for DJ's and it might be a good opportunity for me and help get my name out there.

Alicia has given me some details and dates of the upcoming auditions, so it's another step closer in a new direction.

"here are the details you will need for the auditions honey" she purrs at me

"thanks I'll check it out" I reply

Raising an eyebrow at me with her hands on her hips she states

"I really do hope your going to audition because I will be most disappointed if you dont?"

"yes mum", I sigh as I wink at her and she starts to laugh.

Alicia is like a pushy stage mother at times, I love her to death but sometimes, just sometimes I like to do things on my own terms. Yes I am stubborn like that too.

I get the feeling that Jarrod and Alicia have kinda been up to something but then it could just be my imagination as I do have a tendancy to get carried away at times. And I think I might've given myself away when I told Jarrod I was disappointed they were touring as I think I might've made it obvious when I asked about Shayne...oops. It's been a very long time for me since anyone really caught my attention but there's just something about him and I really hope I get the opportunity to see him again. Thinking about it scares me though, because I have no idea what I would even say to him if I did see him again, besides I'd probably come across like a babbling idiot.

Why do I even care, he probably didn't even notice me anyway. No man like that would ever be without female company.

I just can't help but feel a little guilty about it everything. If I go away and for too long, will I forget?...I don't want to forget the fun times I've had here. I know I will never forget Rhys because this place will always remind me of him.

But I really hate feeling like this and I know I need to move on, I'm ready to try some new things and I need to get away. I've grieved for so long and sometimes I don't want to think about it because I'mscared but the reality is it's time for me to move forward.

To be honest I'm a little anxious about the upcoming auditions and I'm a little scared too. I hope I don't stuff it up and I have no idea what to expect. but I guess it's the fear of the unknown. I've never done anything like this before, but at the same time I am a little excited because my intuition tells me there are some big changes ahead.

I don't know what they are going to be just yet, but I know it's going to be a change for the better....