ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝔾𝕒𝕪(ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕙𝕦𝕟)

Chapter 18

Baekhyun threw his backpack on the sofa as he reached home, he let out a frustrating groan he had been having mixed emotions ever since the incident at school.

"Fuck it" he said as he layed on his queen sized bed, they're so annoying

He stood up and walked up to his fridge opening it and getting himself a beer, he was underage as his mother said but he could care less.

The cold beer burned his throat and it felt good, then he smirked and from his drawer he picked up a pocket knife,
nobody knew about this but lately Baekhyun had been finding it delightful to hurt himself, he ran his slender fingers over the sharp knife and with no mercy he slit it on his thigh, blood immediately bubbling up, Baekhyun screamed in pleasure as the cut burned him, and to make it worse (better for him) he spilled beer on it giving him a burning sensation.

Then he got hold of his tie and wrapped it around his neck and pulled them on both sides making him choke and go out of breath, he did not let go until his face had gone pale.

He dropped the tie on the ground and  starred at the ground aimlessly, I'm so pathetic, if Chanyeol or mom knew of this they'd hate me

Then he got a lighter from his pocket, he smirked and slowly began to burn his own finger, even if it stinged he enjoyed it, he enjoyed pain because he was too used to it, too used to it that without it he could not function, this was all his fault.

His eyes closed and he just rested his body on the bed as he let sleep take over him.

Flashback

Baekhyun was a happy seven year old kid whom everyone adored and loved, he was cheerful, polite and friendly to everyone he met, who wouldn't love him? He looked like a cute puppy running around brightening up everyone's day, Baekhyun was the nicest kid ever, he never knew how to say no.

Everything was well with little Baekhyun's life until a new neighbour moved right next door and as usual Baekhyun was  excited to meet the new neighbor so he followed his mother who had a fruit basket prepared for the new neighbors.

Baekhyun had expected a kind auntie to answer the door with a smile but instead a youngster opened the door,
he had greasy hair and his clothes were untidy and he had thick glasses, he looked so scared he backed off a little hiding behind his mom's figure.
But his mother had always told him that one should not judge a book by its cover, so despite being scared of him he gave him a smile, the man smiled back, looking directly at Baekhyun, that man changed him.

It was on a lazy Saturday afternoon when little Baekhyun was bored and was just strolling around his backyard when he was called by someone making him turn, "Anthony" he muttered addressing to the neighbour,
Like the Baekhyun he was he gave him a smile, despite how sickly and scary he looked with untamed hair.

"Are you bored?" the male asked, "Sort of" Baekhyun answered, "Would you like to come over and play a game with me?" he asked, Baekhyun was hesitant but he did not want to appear rude so he agreed, "Okay" he said and climbed over the fence to his neighbor's house.

Something was off about the smile of his neighbor but still being a kid he ignored it and entered the male's house.

"Here have this" the male said handing him a candied apple, Baekhyun happily took the candy and began to eat it, he was too ignorant to even notice how the older male was starring at him eat the candy.

"Come on, I know a very fun game I'm sure you'll love it" he said and directed Baekhyun upstairs, Baekhyun nodded and happily followed, they entered his room, it was a simple room with  a bed in the middle and a desk and a small cupboard, "The game we're gonna play is police and criminal" he said, Baekhyun smiled, "I've always wanted to be a police officer" he said, "Then you shall me" the male smiled, then out of his cupboard and got out handcuffs.

"I'm a criminal, handcuff me" he said and Baekhyun got excited, his innocent mind thought it was just a game.

"You are under arrest, Anthony" he joked and chuckled as he tried to handcuff him not sure how to do it,
"Okay officer" the other said, "My turn" the other said almost easily taking out the handcuffs, "You're under arrest Baekhyun" he whispered and handcuffed him, Baekhyun groaned a little because the handcuffs tightened on his wrist.

He let out a laughter but suddenly he was pushed down the bed, "Criminals deserve to be tortured"  he said, his eyes darkened, then he took his belt off, "What are you -Ah!" the poor kid screamed in pain when he was whipped by the belt, Baekhyun's eyes began to brim with tears, "I-I don't wanna play anymore"  he muttered.

"Come on we just reached the fun part" the older smiled and whacked him again, this time Baekhyun screamed louder, "You're too loud" he said and stuffed a piece of cloth into his mouth.

"Now be a good boy and don't move" he smirked before slowly sliding off Baekhyun's pants, the poor kid tried his best to push him away but his strength was no match to that of an adult.

He wanted to scream when he felt a sudden extreme pain in between his legs, "mphhhff" he groaned tears flowing down his eyes, "Yeah be a good boy and let me cum inside you" the older male said, Baekhyun's vision got blurry and he fainted out of the pain.

When he woke up he felt tired, there was blood in between his legs and scars on his wrists, he could not even stand up, the other male was nowhere where to be seen and even though he was in pain he took this opportunity to run away, it stinged his legs hurt, his bottom was burning, his wrist was hurting as well.

Everyone was quick to notice the change in Baekhyun's behavior, he became quite and refused to walk out of the house, "Baekie are you hurt somewhere?" his mom asked him one night, "My body aches" he said almost stammering, "Let me see" she said, her eyes widened in shock when she saw the red bottom and scars in the wrists, the blood in between his legs was already washed off.

"W-Who did this to you baby?" she asked her voice shaking as she cupped her son's face, Baekhyun's eyes widened as he thought about what had happened, he suddenly began to scream and kick, "NO!" He screamed and went out of control.

He was taken to the hospital and checked and his mother was horrified when she found out he was raped,
the first person she could think of was their neighbor, "Was it A-Anthony?" she asked and at that Baekhyun had another panic attack and began to grow restless and scream, scratching himself and pulling his hair in the process.

He was pulled away and she immediately called her husband and the authorities, after investigation it was found that Anthony was a jobless adult who was into drugs.

He was arrested and taken away but that did not help Baekhyun, he grew worse everyday, he could not even look at the neighbor's house, every night he would have nightmares, the neighborhood whisperings, made him frustrated.

His parents knew keeping Baekhyun in this neighborhood was no good so they moved out of town and to Seoul.

He was taken to therapy there and things got much better, but his hate for gay men started there, he hated them, he found them disgusting.

It was in middle school when he was stressed out with school and was home alone, he was sitting on his desk when he noticed a pocket knife, without thinking he just took it and cut his wrist and it immediately began to bleed, it stinged, it burned, the blood dripped down from his wrist to the floor, he grimaced but he felt good, he let out a weak chuckle as he cut his wrist again, this time deeper, "This feels amazing" he said chuckling.