Reverse Dream; Entangled Reality || SunSun FF

여삿

여섯: Butterflies

“Promise me you won't harm yourself again, okay?” I queried while holding his hands. He nodded with a warm smile. I kissed the top of his head before we both went outside as the first snow of the year came.

The both of us were wearing thick coats, before the freezing breeze welcome our senses. I released a heavy breath while holding his hands. It's so cold, I can't even feel my hands. The both of us immediately run outside with smiles on our faces. Every time it snows, it feels great.

November 19, 6:05 in the evening. The snow came and the cold weather started occupying the place.

“There's a playground there. Let's go!” He excitedly pull me with him on a children playground. It's quite dim in here, but we could still see the surroundings. We both sat on the swing, after dusting off the show.

We were quiet, but in a comfortable silence. Even though we weren't talking stuffs, we still get to achieve and feel cozy with each other's presence.

“When I said there are butterflies around, I meant there are butterflies in my stomach when you're there.” He suddenly said while pouting, I found it cute. And realized, he wasn't hallucinating that time. So it was like an idiom, well, that's funny but fluttering.

But when he saw his mom, it was probably his hallucination. I got used to it— him pointing somewhere o soemeone who's long-time gone.

“I'll tell you something...” I trailed off before glancing at him, exhaling. He just nodded with his eyes fixed above. There's heaviness inside me, as I tried to breath. My heart has been sunken, but it will always beat for him. Though it is already scarred, it will only heal with his precious smile.

“I won't give up on you, so please, don't give up on yourself, okay?” He glanced at me before smiling. I waited for his reply with a hopeful expression.

“I won't. I promise.”

He said before looking away and shifting his gazes at the stars. That gave me an assurance that he will never let go.

I stared at the stars, while snowflakes kept falling from the air. I closed my eyes when a snowflake went over my forehead. If only I could wish that everything will be back to normal, to the real us.

Back to Stan and Sean.

No hallucinations. No Steven. Just the two of us, to the journey of lifetime.

“Do you wanna be one of the stars?” He suddenly asked that once again caught me off guard. I looked down, while grasping on the swing's chain tightly.

“No, I don't...”

He chuckled when I said that. The weak smile I had once got replaced with a genuine one. There's something with his chuckle that lifted up my agony.

He took a glance at me and reached my hands to hold it. He intertwined it with his as he looked at me straight in the eyes.

“But I want to be one of them, so that I can watch you from above.”

A painful emotion went over my system. It started shaking my knees and I badly wanted to cry.

“But can't you just watch me right here? Right beside me?”

———

“Don't give up. Just don't close your eyes, please...”