Dragon Ball LoF

A Trip To "The Worst Place Ever"

*in shows Xeras and Freezer walking around in Hell*
Freezer: Hey man, I don't wanna be that guy, but we've been walking for 2 hours and I'm bored as hell… Literally!
Xeras: I don't think you have a right to complain… You are a prisoner, not a tourist…
Freezer: Hey bud, this is my first time being here, I should be. Look, you have a spell on my neck, I have no more god ki, let me look around…
Xeras: Shut up and walk…
Freezer: You are really the worst and not even in the killer way… You are just boring. Did your wife think that too? *Xeras turns and punches him across the face, Freezer flops on the floor, Freezer spits blood out* Alrighty… I deserve that… fair enough… *Xeras keeps walking, Freezer gets up and follows* Can I ask something?
Xeras: If it shuts you up, what is it?
Freezer: Can you not hit the face? I gotta look my best you know…
Xeras: Holy shit, for a fighter, shit talker, "best fighter", you have so many requests…
Freezer: Hey hey hey! I have standards! I can be hot and fight! There is nothing wrong with that!
Xeras: *sighs* I'm fucking stuck with a child… *they keep walking, they eventually reach a building, it has a sign with a porch, "The Wraith Of Lucifer", they walk in, it's a bar, Xeras walks up to the bar* *castle crashers Spanish waltz theme plays for the rest of the chapter*

Keep your ass here… *turns to Freezer and gets in his face* I won't hesitate to kill you if you step out of this building…
Freezer: *backs up, closes his nose with his left hand and fans with his right hand* Say it don't spread it! That swamp ass breath is everywhere…
Xeras: *punches Freezer in the stomach, Freezer grunts and puts his head on the bar with a loud thump and keeps his head in the bar*
???: Hey! *the bartender walks over, it's a older lady, long black hair with bangs, black horns on her head that curve up, red skin, yellow eyes, 6'0, in a purple and red vest with a black long sleeve, black suit pants on and black oxfords* You better not be hitting another person in my bar Xeras!
Xeras: *looks at her, gets a sarcastic smile* Hey beautiful lady…
???: Cut the garbage Xeras… What the hell do you want before I kick you out for harassing my customers…
Xeras: He isn't a customer, Ardat Lili…
Lili: Ooooo… someone is a bit upset to be saying full names huh? *starts to wipe down a cup*
Xeras: Ardat, cut the shit…
Lili: *slams the cup down, breaks it, points to Xeras and gets in his face* It's Lili, prick!
Xeras: *growls* Lili…
Lili: Better… *snaps her fingers, suddenly a red snake comes out and eats the glass and slithers away* What do you want? You waste of oxygen… *goes back to cleaning more cups*
Xeras: I need to talk to Dara…
Lili: Not if you are going to waste the doc's time about "I must take my revenge". *does a little dance as she said it to make fun of him*
Xeras: WATCH YOUR MOUTH! *stands up and gets in her face*
Lili: Or what, prick? *gets closer to him* Gonna hurt me? The people I have killed to get here are something you will never keep up with… Don't make me embarrass you in front of this customer… *does a head movement to Freezer as she said that* Now sit down little boy… *Xeras sits down*
Xeras: Sorry…
Lili: No need to apologize, but just watch who you are talking to like that, especially in my own bar. Can you cut to the fucking chase before you piss me off?
Xeras: I did it… This blue frost demon is dating one of the daughters of Scientist Galanos.
Lili: Oh really? So you punched him for being a dick when he is your prisoner?
Xeras: Yes.
Lili: Makes sense, but no fighting. It still doesn't answer my question though.
Xeras: Not in front of the kid… *he stands up and they walk away from Freezer* Plan S is a go…
Lili: Hey dumbass, we aren't near the kid anymore… Just fucking say it… *it goes back to Freezer, it shows Xeras and Lili talking from the window, they walk back in*
Xeras: Watch him for me please… Just call for me and I will kill him…
Lili: Hey! Not in my bar!
Xeras: I will pay you if I do… *walks off*
Lili: *yells at him* You are paying me already for watching him, asshole! *looks over at Freezer* Want something to drink, kid?
Freezer: *slowly raises his head* Yes ma'am… *sees her, he quickly sits up and fixes his outfit*
Lili: *pouring a drink, looks over at him then looks back at the drink with a chuckle* Easy there tiger…
Freezer: I have a girlfriend… I'm just trying to look good...
Lili: Well that's too bad… *slides him the drink* You aren't too bad yourself… *winks as she starts to clean the bar off*
Freezer: Talk about hot as hell… Literally…
Lili: *blushes* I never get that because I'm an older lady, so thank you…
Freezer: If you are older than I'm an earthling…
Lili: You don't wanna be an earthling like I don't wanna be old. 
Freezer: *takes a sip, suddenly spits it out*
Lili: Hey! *throws her rag on the bar and holds her hand out to the spill* That's a waste!
Freezer: Sorry, but what the hell is this? *looks into the cup* No pun intended…
Lili: *snaps, the snake comes out and cleans it again* Have you ever had vodka in the land of the living?
Freezer: Yeah?
Lili: It's that but around 10 times the strength…
Freezer: Why? How is this even drinkable?
Lili: It's Hell… We are dead, kid…
Freezer: You're right… *Freezer looks around, nothing but human like people that have red skin and yellow eyes, all shapes and sizes*
Lili: First time here huh? *puts the rag away and starts to clean the ice tray out*
Freezer: Yeah, it's a bit different… I would expect you guys to be slaves and hate the afterlife…
Lili: Here, it's more like *does a dance as she says it* "Oh, let's just make the bad people live with the bad people, and the good people with the good". 
Freezer: Then why aren't you guys fighting?
Lili: What is there to fight about? Money? Money means nothing down here in a way, we actually made it a thing down here. It was just a thing we did so much as earthlings to the point we made it here, it didn't feel right without it. Money does have a point down here but doesn't start problems, but you know what I mean, we came to an agreement that we will make it and no one hates it… but money is so easy to get that we don't steal.
Freezer: You seem like a sweet person… Why didn't you go to heaven?
Lili: Hey now, that's like saying "what's your location?" on the internet. Plain out weird. I don't even know you kid… but I appreciate you calling me sweet… but I'm also not...
Freezer: Then how old are you?
Lili: *blushes and quickly drops the ice tray* Never ask a woman about her age!! Why are you even trying to get to know me when you will die later!?
Freezer: I know I'm not going to die… I survived worse, and not only that, Xeras is garbage…
Lili: Haha! You can say that again! Never mind kid! I will be your friend! *leans forward to him, you can see down her shirt, she slowly blinks, her eyes turn green, she whispers* Or I can be more…~
Freezer: *quickly looks away, doesn't look, he blushes* You are amazing and all… but I have a girlfriend…!
Lili: I'm a succubus…~ I can give you everything handsome…~
Freezer: N-no thank you! One good time with a girl that I love is good for me!
Lili: Well suit yourself, but the door is always open…~ *winks and turns around to grab some alcohol to serve, starts talking to someone*
Freezer: *clears his throat with a blush* Good god… It's time to go home… *looks around, drinks the alcohol she gave him, makes a face of disgust* Never again… *stands up* *in his head* Maybe someone can help out… *he tries to instant transmission out but can't* Dammit… It seems like I can only ask for help… *he walks to a table with a guy*
Lili: You know I gotta watch you right? Don't go too far, I don't wanna kill you, but if I have to, I will.
Freezer: No no no, I'm not going anywhere, I'm just going to talk to some people.
Lili: Well, that's big boy Bruce, have fun with that…
Freezer: *sits down* Bruce was it? *it shows a black figure sitting in a chair but that part of the bar is dark so Freezer can't see him, yellow eyes are all that's seen*
Bruce: *cigarette smoke comes from the shadow, a deep murderous voice comes out of the shadow* Spill it… or don't waste my time…
Freezer: *smiles* You know a way out of here?
Bruce: I would be gone, smart one…
Freezer: Oh really? I thought you would stay for the alcohol.
Bruce: Are you trying to start something…?
Freezer: I'm just asking for someone to help me leave this place…
Bruce: What are you trying to get into...?
Freezer: I mean, you can try but it won't go your way… *Bruce stands up, 9 feet tall, fully black outfit with a black trenchcoat, red skin and yellow cat eyes like everyone else but he feels something against his back, he looks over his shoulder, and afterimage or Freezer is there with a ki blast to his back* Sit… *Bruce sits down, Freezer's afterimage keeps the ki blast against Bruce, freezer continues to talk* Lili is a sweet lady… Let's not give her problems… and I will warn you… You won't win…
Bruce: *stares at Freezer* Who are you…?
Freezer: *smiles* The best there is… Now help me…
Bruce: Threatens a guy, but wants help… Listen guy… I don't want problems…
Freezer: Then let's solve it like math… *pauses and thinks, he closes his eyes and holds his hand out to him* Wait wait wait… did you say you didn't want problems?
Bruce: Yes… I'm late to my play…
Freezer: Play…?
Bruce: *pulls out a paper, its an advertisement for it, "The Beautiful Crypto Demon And The Bug", Bruce is sweating and looks scared*
Freezer: *has a poker face, sighs, the afterimage disappears which makes him lower the ki blast and walks to the seat and sits down* Sorry big guy… Why did you seem so scary and tough?
Bruce: What do you mean?
Freezer: You said you wanted to fight me!
Bruce: When?
Freezer: When you said "What are you trying to get into?"
Bruce: No, I thought you were trying to get into a play… I'm the owner, but I do plays myself...
Freezer: *feels stupid, he sighs* Can you sneak me there…?
Bruce: Yes sir… The place is not far from here…
Freezer: Alright… I will be back… *walks over to Lili* I'm going to head out..  Can you tell Xeras I'm still here? Can you kill time?
Lili: Woah woah woah there handsome, we aren't that close…
Freezer: *slams a thousand dollars on the bar* Now?
Lili: *she picks it up and counts, her eyes start to widen* Is this one thousand in earthling money!?
Freezer: Yes ma'am…
Lili: But I don't wanna fight… Sorry kid, I'm going to have to deny it…
Freezer: But it's a thousand!
Lili: Oh trust me! Here, earthling money is worth even more since we don't have it! That's 10 million!
Freezer: Oh… Okay, I have an idea! *he whispers to her*
Lili: *she nods, she puts the money in her bra* Come back soon handsome, don't die please…
Freezer: *does a respect bow* Take care of yourself, you sweet soul… You don't deserve to be here… *walks back to bruce*
Lili: *watches him walk away with a smile but loses the smile, she talks to herself* I do belong here, but okay… *walks to the sink to clean dishes*
Freezer: *he walks up to Bruce* I'm ready…
Bruce: *opens his bag, it has all his play clothes* Jump in…
Freezer: *looks in it, sees a blue glittery outfit* You can't be serious…
Bruce: *blushes* Don't judge! Just jump in or I will leave!
Freezer: I wasn't! Sorry! I meant being in the bag… *sighs* Fine… *gets in it and lays down, Bruce zips it up, he walks out of the bar*
Xeras: *walks out from the back, looks around, doesn't see Freezer* Where is he Lili!?
Lili: Watch the tone dipshit!
Xeras: *sighs with a growl, tries to calm down* Where is he?
Lili: In the restroom…
Xeras: *he tries to ki sense him, he feels his ki coming from the restroom, he goes back to the backroom* *goes to Freezer in Bruce's bag*
Freezer: Let's hope this works… (To Be Continued…)