No Blossom

X

"You're so cold now."

"You'll get sick if you stay like that."

I got in the bath and looked around anxiously only to find Okajima-san undressing by the door, after which she also got in the tub and leaned against the edge. The water was so hot that it took a minute for me to get used to it, but with every passing second I could feel myself coming back to my senses. Though, I couldn't believe the kind of situation I had gotten myself into once again.

I tried to look at the tiles on the wall and the thermometer near the bathtub, but it must have been clear to Okajima-san that I was just nervous. I began to wonder if she ever felt that way, if she felt even the least bit embarrassed or insecure of being exposed to other people.

"That man..", I opened my mouth without even meaning to. Somehow I just blurted out the words that had been on my mind all night. "Watanabe Hotei. He works at the law firm."

Of course, there was a law firm next to her office.

Hotei?

I didn't know what to think, but I felt as though I shouldn't have gotten so upset. She wasn't my girlfriend or anything like that, she had never expressed any interest in me other than what we did from time to time. But it still meant a lot to me, not just the pleasure, I wanted to get to know her. I wanted to tell her that, everything that bothered me and all the things that I was curious about.

Still, I didn't have the courage for that.

I sniffed a bit to fight back the tears and keep myself from humiliating myself in front of her again. She must have thought that I was having a cold because she moved closer to me and pressed a hand to my forehead to take my temperature.

Even after doing it with her plenty of times I still got flustered whenever she was close to me, not to mention when she wasn't even wearing anything. I could see her breasts under the water, they weren't as big as in magazines and movies, but my heart started racing. "Warm, but I don't think you have a fever", She wiped some of the sweat from my forehead.

She seemed to notice me staring and sat back down, her expression was blank as always but her eyes looked a bit curious once again.

"Do you want to touch them?"

W-What?

My face turned red and I struggled to speak. What was she asking? Did I want to touch her... I wanted to, I had thought about it a few times but thought it would have been inappropriate to do so. I hadn't touched her much before either, even when we were doing it I was afraid of doing something wrong and embarrassing myself so I tried to stay still and do as she told me.

But why was she asking me if I wanted to touch them? Was she angry at me? Or did she want me to touch her all along? "I...", I whispered so quietly that she couldn't hear me, but before I could continue she took my hands in hers and guided them to her chest. I flinched as soon as I felt her breasts, they were soft and plump, but I didn't know if I was touching them correctly.

Before that I didn't think I could touch her when I wanted, I did want to touch her. Until then I hadn't even realized how badly I wanted to touch her. "Okajima-san-", I looked at her, only for her to shut her eyes tightly. I quickly realized that I was squeezing her too hard and let go, apologizing: "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" She sighed and shook her head, but I felt guilty regardless.

After sitting in silence for another five minutes Okajima-san stood up and took a towel from the rack. "I have no such feelings for Hotei-san", She slipped on her stockings, then her white shirt and bottoms. "You don't need to worry, Takayama-san". After saying that she turned to leave, and I rushed out of the bathtub to stop her, like I did every time.

"Please...Will you call me by my first name?"

"Hmm?"

Do you...Do you remember my first name?

"Kiryuu? That name doesn't suit you at all."

I knew that, but even then it made me smile just hearing her call me by my name. I wasn't bold enough to just straight out call her Saya, so asking her to call me by my first name seemed like the second best thing.

So after she had left out the door and the sound of her footsteps no longer echoed from the hall, I could still tell her scent. I didn't know whether to feel relieved or not, but I wasn't as upset as I'd been before.

She didn't know how I felt.

Now she did. Maybe something would change. Maybe she would feel the same way about me.

Knowing that the man wasn't her colleague put me at ease, though just a little bit. There was no way I could compete with someone like him anyway.

"Kiryuu! I left my keys in the car. Can you go get them for me?"

"Sure."

"What was that?"

"I'll get them."

"Oh, good good."

After telling Okajima-san what I saw and how I felt she seemed to become more considerate towards me. While it may just have been that she felt bad for me, I didn't exactly want to consider that possibility. I could never know what she was really thinking, her expressions never gave much away. But we began to talk a bit more, not only about trivial things like work and the weather, but about ourselves.

I got to know that she had a younger sister called Setsuna who still lived with their parents in Gunma. Okajima-san also told me that she went to university abroad, in Seoul, and only returned to Japan a year before when she got a job in the city.

We didn't have sex for a while, though, but she didn't say anything about it. We just talked, and sometimes we didn't.

I was exhausted by the end of the day, but I didn't really mind because I would meet with Okajima-san later. Even if I was tired after being insulted by my colleagues all day, it didn't matter as long as I got to see Okajima-san.

I stepped out of the elevator and fiddled with my keys for a while, unable to tell which was which in the dark.

"Kiryuu? You took a while. Do you always work this late?"

I stopped in my tracks and turned around.

"What are you doing here?"