No Blossom

XVII

It was still snowing by the time I reached my building at around 8 p.m. I had lost track of time during my brief meeting with Saya near the subway station, though we didn't talk for too long, she said she was due to meet with a client over dinner in an hour. I sighed, so she also did overtime.

I thought about what her days were like and wondered if I should even ask, not to risk sounding intruding. But I wanted to know. I was envious of her coworkers and clients, all the people that got to see her every day and have her full attention.

But I didn't want to demand such things from her.

Everything that she gave me, she gave from her free will, not out of obligation. She wasn't the kind of person that forced a smile or gave out flattering compliments without meaning every word. And because of that, just having her attention felt like a reward.

"Saya?" I had asked, right when she turned to leave. She looked at me over her shoulder, her dark hair draped over her trench coat, the same one that she usually wore. "Will you...Will you also have dinner with me some time? Not just at home but...Someplace else. Anywhere you want."

Then I bit my tongue, already feeling awkward because of how I kept tripping over words.

"Sure"

"There's a popular restaurant uptown."

I unlocked the door to my flat and kicked off my shoes. I was still thinking about our conversation, going over all the things I should have done differently. Should I have been more assertive? Maybe she would have found it more convincing if I asked her upfront and offered to pay, too. Or did that even matter?

Huh?

I suddenly noticed that there was another pair of shoes on the floor, they weren't mine. My heart skipped a beat, and as I looked over at the kitchen, I noticed the silhouette of a man sitting at the table.

"You shouldn't be working this late for that salary. Even the janitors must have gone home hours ago."

"Dad?" I whispered, and he turned around, holding my spare key in his hand. Right, he did have a spare key to my apartment, but I didn't think he would actually use it. "What are you doing here?" I followed up, but bit my lip after realizing that my question was a little rude. He didn't mind and just shook his head, claiming that he had the day off and came to see me. "It's because we worry about you, you're here alone and we never hear about you. It's not the same with Keiji at all, he comes home so often that it gives me a headache sometimes."

I was reaching into the cupboard to grab a mug, but stopped. He was worried about me? I didn't know what to say, hearing that come out of his mouth made me a bit paranoid, but his voice sounded sincere. He hadn't shown much concern for me before, and I knew better than to cling to his words. "Here", I gave him the coffee, dark, so dark that its smell made me nauseous. He took it earnestly and as he downed the coffee, he studied my apartment carefully. I stood there and waited anxiously for him to open his mouth and maybe comment on the weather, or my salary. But he didn't.

Instead his eyes stopped at the small bedside table next to the wall, where a small item was glistening. A hairpin. It was a hairpin. I gulped loudly when I realized that it was Saya's. When had she left it there? It was a beautiful silvery hairpin that clearly belonged to a woman. My father raised a brow and scratched his beard, but he didn't say anything about the hairpin. His silence was definitely worse than asking about it upfront.

He thanked me for the coffee and left.

...

"Did you write down that meeting for next week?"

"Of course I did."

"What about the business trip?"

"That too. Why a-"

"I'm just making sure."

I sighed and nodded, a little disappointed that he didn't trust me to do my job. He wasn't a bad boss, but it wasn't easy for me to be around someone like him. If I was a little bird, he was like an eagle on top of the food chain, and even if he didn't look down on me as much as everyone else, I felt small and insignificant just standing next to him.

He was divorced and a father of two, though not even in his 40's yet. Sometimes I wondered what his life was like, but it was so far from mine that just thinking about it made me uncomfortable.

"So, how is Saya?" A woman's voice startled me. I turned around to see Hibiki across from my desk where she folded her arms and looked and me with piercing eyes. But I didn't feel particularly bothered, not after speaking with Saya. I didn't respond to Hibiki.

"That's rude, little bird, you don't need to be so rude", She followed behind me even after I had packed up and left the office. "She's good", I forced myself to answer her so that she would leave me alone. But she didn't. Even when I left out the front door and gazed up at the cloudy sky, I knew she was still there.

"So this is where you work?"

W-What?

I almost lost my balance when I noticed her, standing right there in front of me, her hands deep in the pockets of her trench coat as she observed the tall building. Then she seemed to look at someone behind me, the woman. But her expression did not change, it was as though she were just staring at a distant figure in the horizon. "You aren't busy today, are you? We can go to that restaurant if you want", She took my hand and turned to leave.

Is it just a dream?

No, her hand was so warm.