No Blossom

VII

Okajima-san!

No- Saya...

When I see her next time I'll definitely call her that.

I'll call her Saya.

The wind was strongest in the early hours of the morning when the sun had not risen yet. While it wasn't exactly cold, it wasn't too warm either. I rushed up the stairs of my apartment building, though not really guided by reason. There was no way she would be there anymore, if she had even stopped by in the first place. It was almost dawn, yes, she would likely be asleep in her own home at that time.

Her own home?

I didn't even know where she lived, whether she lived alone or with someone else. All I knew for sure was her name, her age, roughly where she worked and that she was from Gunma. But I wanted to know more. If I could just see her and ask her, I would ask her everything that I wanted to know.

I ran past the corner, half expecting her figure to be there, standing quietly in the dark. I imagined how she would turn her head towards me only when I called out to her. But she wouldn't speak until I did.

"Okajima-san..."

She wasn't there, of course not. Why had I even imagined that to begin with?

I stopped in the middle of the hallway and sighed, staring at my door. Would she come again the next day? She would, wouldn't she? Then I could apologize to her and we could have a proper conversation for once. Yes, we would.

But unlike I had hoped, Okajima-san did not come the next day. Nor did she come the day after that, or after that. Almost a week had passed and there was no sign of her. I went to work everyday and came back in the evening, waiting for her to show up and act like nothing had happened. And then we would... No- What was I thinking? Had I gotten so used to our unusual relationship that I was expecting us to do it every time we met? That wasn't...That wasn't like me at all.

"Takayama-kun! Is the Chief in his office?"

"What? Oh, no, he's away at a briefing".

"That's too bad, I really needed his signature for the safety inspection".

I tried to focus, I looked at my desk that had two cups, one empty and one with coffee that had already long cooled down. My job wasn't easy at all, I learned that the second I made the mistake of applying for it. It was a common presumption that people who worked in public security were either active out on the field or tightly involved in politics. Neither applied to me, however.

But I was content with that, at least for the time-being. My employer could tell at first glance that I wasn't a risk-taker or very good at managing stress, but he kept me around because I did what he told me to. Which, frankly, was a lot. I did everything from managing his schedule to calling the repair company when a light went out. One time I even had to take his laundry because he knocked his drink over at work.

Still, I had to count my lucky stars to have gotten the job, otherwise I wouldn't have made it out there.

I wondered what Okajima-san did on a daily basis. Did she sit at a boring office job as well? Or did she have flexible hours? Maybe she was in a higher position or even owned the company, that wouldn't have been surprising because she had such a charismatic personality. Yes, people like her were bound to be taken seriously, they just demanded respect and others wanted to listen to them.

Even when I tried my best to focus on what was right in front of me; a long list of emails that I needed to respond to, I still found myself thinking of Okajima-san. It was ironic since she was the one that approached me from the very beginning, she left that thing in my wallet and confused me. But...I had still taken her for granted, and before I knew it, I needed her more than she must have needed me.

But it was my mistake that I hadn't let her know about my visit to Sendai. She already had no reason to come see me other than out of pity, but she did anyway, and I just made her wait. Since she had stopped coming to my place it must have meant that she did come to my apartment that night and got upset that I wasn't there. But...Could she really just forget about me and move on with her life like nothing happened?

I had to talk to her, I couldn't keep on making assumptions without hearing what she had to say.

So, when I got off work at the usual time, I decided to take a detour through the city where I believed she worked. It was a bit of a long shot, and a wild one at that, but I couldn't help my impulsive drive at that moment. I had to see her.

The place wasn't too far from the subway, so I was able to find it fairly easily even with all the traffic and vast amount of other similar offices in the area. It was a modern and neat building fit in between two taller ones; an expensive-looking clothing store and a law firm. Since it wasn't 6 p.m. yet I was confident that they were still open, even though the office looked dim inside.

The door opened, luckily, and I stepped inside quietly, anxious about seeing her, but even more so if I had to explain myself to someone else. I could only imagine the kind of embarrassment I was in for, but it was too late to back out.

The lobby was empty, but I continued along the hallway to where I could distantly hear people talking and the lighting was brighter. I tried to listen carefully whether I could recognize her voice, but so far it sounded male.

Not wanting to interrupt anyone, I stopped right before the opening that led to a spacious shared office compartment with a few desks and windows facing the courtyard. Only a single lamp lit the room, casting ominous shadows of furniture and stationary on the walls.

As I observed the room more closely to find the person I had heard speak before, my eyes stopped by one of the side counters. At first all I saw was a vase and the few wilted roses inside it, but in no time did I realize that the water inside was wavering to the point where it was just about to spill over.

"S-Saya-san..."

For a moment I couldn't blink my eyes at all and I felt something I'd never known before.

My heart was breaking.