No Blossom

XIII

"Kiryuu? Have you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"They've hired services externally. Isn't that just strange, this time of the year too. What's that? You're having miso again? It's no wonder you're so thin".

I took a seat in the far side of the cafeteria and looked at the soup. It had a strong scent of seaweed but actually tasted quite mild. Thin? Maybe, but miso was affordable and it didn't taste all that bad either.

"Takayama Kiryuu?"

Hmm?

I looked up from the soup and saw a woman, around my age and with a scarf wrapped around her neck. "Do you know where I can find him?", She demanded and placed both her hands on the table. Ito Hibiki. I didn't recognize her, but looking at the tag she had on her she could have been a visitor. Or the external services that someone had mentioned.

"That's- That's me", I responded, expecting her to apologize and back away. But instead of correcting her openly rude behavior towards me, she narrowed her eyes and clenched her hands into fists. Now that I paid attention to it, she had light brown hair, it was exceptionally light for a Japanese woman. Maybe she was a mix? "You're kidding, right? I need to meet with him, he's to give me a tour". A tour? It wasn't unusual of other office workers to drop petty jobs like that on me because they were too busy to do it themselves, but no one had told me about it beforehand.

"I'm on a break now. Can you wait a few minutes?" I tried to reconcile, but she still looked confused. Was it because she thought she was supposed to meet with someone else? It wasn't the first time something like this happened, people that didn't work at the bureau were always surprised when they found out I was the Head Security's secretary. At first I thought they only reacted that way because I was young, but lately I started to realize that wasn't the only reason.

"Haah, I thought they would have some kind of standards for the office staff. Mattaku. You're like a little bird in an eagle's nest". The woman sat back on the chair and crossed her arms. She didn't seem to mind insulting me even though there were other people around and she wasn't even from the bureau. Not that I could have done anything about it anyway, and if she was just visiting I could probably bear with it a little longer.

Despite not really wanting to give her a tour, I had a feeling she wouldn't take no for an answer. She might have been the complaining kind that would tell my superiors that I was slacking off or something. I couldn't afford that. It should have been enough if I just showed her the offices, lobby and conference floor, there wasn't anything else she needed to see.

"I'll leave my address here on the table. I live in Kawasaki".

Kawasaki?

She had left her address on a note, but she didn't tell me specifically to come visit her. Would it be too bold to go there without being invited? Should I wait a few more days?

"Shh, it's alright, you can let it out now".

"You came so much...It must have been hard holding it all in".

"What's with your face?" The woman suddenly stopped and raised her brow. My face? "If you have a fever just go home. I don't want to get sick". She thought I was having a fever? I guess I really couldn't hold in my emotions. It was embarrassing, but day by day I caught myself having these thoughts not only at home but also at the workplace. No one knew, but it was still awkward facing other people after thinking about those things when I should have been focusing instead.

To be honest, it had only been two days since we last met, but I still felt anxious that she hadn't come by the other day. Maybe she had more work because she went in late that day? Or...

Please only do it with me.

I had almost forgotten asking her that. I hadn't felt shame like that in a long time and thought that my face was going to melt. How could I ask her something like that? Was I so out of it? Or was it because I was tired? Maybe she had also forgotten about it.

But she still gave me her address, and not just that, she even stayed the whole night. I knew very well that if I made a mistake she could lose interest in me and stop coming to see me. But when she looked at me before leaving that day, I felt like something was different about her.

Something I hadn't noticed before.

And that curiosity made me do something I never thought I would end up doing again. Going to her workplace.

Because I wasn't confident enough to go to her house, I decided that I could just walk past her workplace around the time I figured she must get off and pretend I was just in the area. She was always the one that came to meet me so I didn't know if it was right to approach her directly, maybe she didn't like that.

Yet I was still there once again, on that same street where the clothing store and law firm were aligned with her office. Though this time there was also a ramen cart not far from where the back alley met the main road. It smelled good, I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten something filling like that.

As my eyes wandered down the street from one building to another, I suddenly recognized him.

Watanabe Hotei.

He was smoking by the door, but I didn't think he had noticed me yet, or he just didn't pay much attention to his surroundings. Looking at him from afar brought back the memories from that evening when I walked in on him and Saya in the office.

It still hurt.

I hadn't expected him to be there, actually, I was nervous enough about going to Saya's office in the first place. But this made it a hundred times worse. Would he go back inside after finishing his cigarette? I could wait. I didn't want him to notice me, even though there was no way he knew who I was anyway. So why was I avoiding him?