Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

ChuuAku | Fluff - Light In the Darkness Pt. 2

This is a continuation of the last fic I wrote on the previous chapter. Please read the note on that chapter if you don't already know why I am writing ChuuAku. 

Not contains Akutagawa self-loathing

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It had been a few days after the two had bonded. The two started hanging out and eventually, they developed feelings towards each other. However, these feelings remained private and unbeknownst to the outside world. They figured that their thoughts would remain private and kept to themselves, however, this soon changed. 

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke figured nothing more would happen between them, however, his playful, cunningly annoying sibling, Gin, managed to find about his little "crush". Gin would tease him countless times over the issue when Chuuya wasn't in the room. The jokes made him rather flustered, though he refused to believe he ever turned red at the thought of Chuuya. In his words, it was weakness and he showed no weaknesses.

Chuuya, on the other hand, never had any trouble hiding his feelings, even around his Executive colleague, Kouyou Ozaki. She had learned to notice the subtle but noticeable changes in Chuuya towards the younger male, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. Chuuya treated the other much nicer than the other Mafia members and he seemed to have a soft spot for him. She had no problems with Chuuya liking the younger and often times teased him about the pairing as well. Kouyou had accidentally found out Chuuya liked the other but swore she'd say nothing. In exchange, she teased him about his feelings, in a nice way, of course. Chuuya, much to her disappointment, didn't exactly react as "flustered" as she hoped he would. Chuuya was good at hiding his emotions that way.

Even with all of their hiding and denying it, however, they somehow still drew themselves closer together. it was.. interesting, to say it simply. If I were to describe the true emotions, I'd be at a loss for words. one can not simply explain how love and denial can draw someone together and still have words left to spare. The best I can do is explain the situation, And so, that is my goal. I shall explain the circumstances that led to this great event.

It was three in the morning. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke was up, nothing exactly new. He was awake because of the thoughts running rampant in his head, also something not new. He usually never slept soundly. He'd gotten up from his apartment, snuck outside, and and went to his favorite shipping yard. He sat atop one of the tallest piles of the crates and sat down. The man sighed to himself as the wind blew through his hair. The place was peaceful at night, less noisy and more time to think to himself. Soon the Mafia's hellhound had gotten himself lost in thought. 

The first few were positive thoughts that made him smile a bit. Those thoughts were of Gin, the accomplishments of the Mafia, and of course, Chuuya. The thought of Chuuya always brought a soft smile to the man's lips. Chuuya was the one person, aside from Gin, who could bring Akutagawa to smile. The thoughts were special to him. 

However, as he sat there thinking more, his mind began to wander. His mind suddeny flooded with negative thoughts, ones of pain, of struggle, and neglect. These were his worst ones, the thoughts that could drive him into madness. At times, he could be found curled in a corner an =d shaking violently, trying to make the "voices" in his head shut up. Soon, Akutagawa was huddled atop the container and lightly shaking. His mind suddenly delved into a state of self-loathing. he began to hate almost every aspect of his being. 

Quietly, he muttered curses upon himself: "Why are you so utterly weak?" "You embarrass yourself with your weaknesses!" "Stop crying, god dammit. It's weak." "Dazai was right about leaving you here. You're a hopeless, weak cause." "Chuuya only cares because he's your executive and he feels bad!"