I let you go (Complete)

VIII

He is not going alone to Russia, do you understand me, she frowns at furry.
I can't let you go with him, he has to bring Bucky back and you know how dangerous it is for you to go back there, the winter soldier is killing people and destroying places, he is in search for you, you know this, fury returned her a gaze.
She sat down close to his seat and sighed, so you are sacrificing Roger for me, you know how dangerous winter soldier is and you know him well he's never gonna fight his friend and now you are putting him under pressure because you know how much he loves me too, but you don't have to do it, he is not completely fine, I saw him being tired, being completely lost, he just can't say no to this because he is always going to put himself in last, but I can't stand watching him fight for us while doing nothing, if he's gonna go, I will be with him, he needs time to recover himself too, he isn't recovered from his past, his present and you know he has injuries right now, so I'm not going to let him go alone, that's my final answer, she said firmly but softly.
What if you cause him the damage, you are afraid of? He didn't look at her this time, what if they used you against him, still, you want to go, you are just going to be an add up in his miseries, he said.
Look you know, right! You know there's nothing good there for him, you know he will be surrounded by miseries still you are going to let him go there alone, I can't believe you, you are using him to protect me, but I'm not leaving him alone, if I will be a threat to him, you are not going to see me again, she tightened her fist. When we are leaving, she said, Romanoff, he sighed, if you can put his life's at risk why can't I, she replied.
Tomorrow at 11 Am he sighed while saying that, if you are going what's the point to go there then, also he didn't has his uniform nor tony gave him back his shield, he said.

There are people dying and we have to bring Bucky back as well, we have to stop this, so you just worry about me in this all, you are disgusting, she said sarcastically.

I just want you safe that's enough for me and I know and trust Rogers, he is always gonna protect you. He smiled softly.

I hope he did the same for himself too, leaving Fury in the room, she went towards her room, when she was crossing Steve's room, she just tries to opened the door to check on him, if he is doing good or sleeping or anything, he didn't come downstairs for a while but the door was locked inside, she felt something wrong, so she called him, but no response, but she thought maybe he is sleeping his eyes always said to her that he is tired of fighting against Natsi's  Aliens, his own friends, he always looked at her like he wants an escape but whenever he tried, he just got into another big problem so he never rests like the way he deserves,  she went to her room and got relaxed on her chair, next to the big window giving her a good view of outside, she didn't know when but she heard a shriek from the other side of the room, she knew who the person was, she got to his room, Steve? Steve? Opened the door, but no response but she can hear his deep breaths with sobs in between them, she just call an agent and said open it, unlock it right now, he gave him a look, Open it right now, he needs help. He did what she said.

When she enters the room, it was dark no light, she turns on the lights and saw him curled around the side of the bed, a glass is broken down on his right side piercing into his right hand, he was scared, don't know-how, from which thing but she can tell he had a nightmare or a panic attack, but she doesn't care about that, at that particular moment, he was sweating but it was cold sweat when she touched him she felt that she rushed towards his hand to see it carefully but for a moment she looked in his eyes and he just didn't respond back as if he was ashamed of this, of being so pathetic and weak in front of anyone or especially her, she came closer, Steve? She whispers, you are there right, you can hear me, stand up, its me Natasha, but he didn't looked at her, he can't manage to return her gaze, stand up please, your hand, its bleeding, you need to get up, those were the words which gave him a feel, a sensation of pain in his hand and he looked at it, water and blood both were flowing on the floor, his hand still had a grip on the broken glass, he winced in pain, I'm sorry he said, Natasha grabbed his arm, and helped him to stand up and lead him back to bed, stay I'll be back, she came back with some bandages, and first aid kit, you need to be careful Rogers, I thought you were sleeping, looks its a deep one, why you just hurt yourself so easily, a worried expression on her face, when she was cleaning his hand, she looked him, he was lost, he wasn't there, he wasn't feeling anything she was rubbing spirit on a deep cut still no emotions nothing, it was when she put the pressure on the cotton with a spirit, on his hand, he winced again in pain, Ahh! What are you doing? His eyes were showing a mixture of tears and sadness.
It was a nightmare right, Rogers, she asked. You got nightmares too, why didn't you talk or more than that, do you have PSTD's or panic attacks, tell me, you never showed or talked about it.
He hated this, this feeling of helplessness, his eyes were saying something else but he said, I'm fine and no, it was I just got scared. His response was cold and not true because he always speaks the truth, he was a bad liar.

She loosens her grip on his hand, which she was bandaging, and said in her head, I'm no fool, I can see how scared you are and it's okay to be vulnerable in front of someone, it's okay I'm here, but she didn't say it to him, she was going to get up when he held her hand with his aching hand, maybe aching body or at last his aching mind as well, stay please he softly whispers, but she can even feel his breaths how can she not hear what he said.
Tell me you are scared, you can trust me, he just nodded and held her hand tightly she sat beside him.

Come here, he just blankly stared at him at what she said, come on lay your head on my lap, sleep, I'm not going anywhere, you are not alone, never think that, whenever you need someone, always remember I'm here for you, she said while he adjusted his head on her lap, you sure I may seem strong and a man of pride but I'm not that strong I'm trying to be a good man, I'm not strong, he said while their eyes locked with each other, you are the bravest person I've ever seen, just close your eyes, sleep, you need it, we are going Russia tomorrow, so please rest, she said in a still worried tone, We? He questioned. Aren't just I was supposed to go. He said still shocked by the word we, his breaths were still heavy and his head was hurting, yeah, you are not going alone, I told you, you don't have to do things alone, you don't have to suffer alone and you have me, she smiled at him, now close your eyes and he did, still his face was emotionless, one word you are not alone was echoing I his mind, when he felt someone just brushing his hairs with fingers, it was her, she always was, she was always by his side, his cold body, tensed muscle and worried frowns all were relaxed just by warmth of her fingers and in no time he was dozed off to sleep, he never wanted to show his weak, afraid and tired side of Steve rogers to anyone but he let his guard down, even when they were together, he always wanted to show his strong side to her, but for the first time, after he woke up from ice, after Peggy, she was the first one who saw him struggling and this weak, but he let it happened he knew it was love but other than it, he knew he was safe, his struggling, his dark sides and weaknesses all are safe with her, with Natasha just as she feels safe with him....