despise - negan x reader

chapter viii - all of this

tw: sexual assault, abuse, suicidal thoughts and actions, self-harm

i climb out of the truck. walking up to the people around the campfire i've only maybe seen glimpses of. no one who would know me, good.

two drunk guys are laughing hysterically as another one smiles at the sight of me. he stands easing his way to me, somehow not falling.

"hey little mama," he says. oh god, he was one of those guys.

"hey, what's your name?" i flirt. no reason not to.

"kaden, you're y/n aren't you?"

"yea," i say watching him stumble towards me. backing me up to the truck. my back thuds as i hit the door.

"you look really good, what do you say we have a good time?" he reeks of alcohol. and he wasn't that attractive either. but, what's one night?

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TW

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this was my plan, get laid, but my mind disagreed. it flashes back to the last time i was cornered by a man.

the highwaymen.

rick, michonne, daryl, and i had gone to do something, the reason not being what i remembered.

we climb out of the car, heading to talk to the men. but before i know it, guns are pointed, mine aiming right at a fat guy's head, his at mine.

"we don't need to do this," rick calmly says.

"we do, get on the ground now. put the guns down," rick slowly drops his.

"just do what he says," rick murmurs to us. we all slowly place ours on the ground and out our hands in the air.

"now first we're gonna have some fun with these girls. and then we're gonna kill all of ya," the man says.

"like hell you are," daryl grunts.

the big guy shoves me to the ground, my face in the asphalt. i feel my pants being pulled down, i kick as much as i can.

michonne fights one of them off. daryl and rick kill everyone else as the guy turns me to him. "shut up bitch," his hands claw at my shirt but i manage to bite him. he slams my head into the ground.

my vision grows fuzzy as i call out for help. i feel his weight being lifted off of me, blood spews everywhere. then, everything goes dark...

i remember waking up and staying silent for two days. everyone tried to talk to me, but i stared blankly ahead. finally, maggie snapped me out of it.

i shutter as i recall the memory, kaden now practically on top of me.

"stop," i say.

"why? we're having fun," he sloppily kisses my neck.

"i'm not, get off of me," i try punching him.

"no."

his hand grabs my ass, "fuck you, get off of me perv!" i call out before he backs off.

the guard runs over, "what's going on? kaden! what did you do? boss is going to kill you!"

"i didn't do shit man, she won't put out, fucking whore," he mumbles as he makes his way back to the fire where the men have passed out.

"i'm sorry about him. are you okay?"

"yea, i guess," i mutter. my whole body quakes as i wrap my arms around myself. "thanks."

"of course. i'm brandon, and i'm sorry for kaden. he's kind of an ass when he's drunk."

"it's fine, it's not your fault. mind if i join you on guard duty?" i ask. the least i could do was try to distract myself.