despise - negan x reader

chapter ix - almost fixed

tw: slight mention of rape and/or sexual assault

the next day i roll over, almost falling off the bed. i slept some but not a lot. i could tell it was getting to me, i snapped at people quicker and i just felt different.

i remember this part, the part where the pain is very slowly becoming more bearable. i was almost fixed, i almost had myself put back together.

once i've gotten ready, i hear mila start crying. before i know it, we're at the playroom saying our goodbyes. i drop the act when i shut the door behind me, not even pretending to mask what i was feeling.

"how come she gets to wear those and i have to wear this skimpy dress?" i hear a wife tell to another.

"i'm not his wife," i call out as i continue on to my office.

once i greet carson, our usual workday continues on. giving pregnancy tests to one of his wives, stitching up a kid from a fight, nothing too interesting.

negan marches in about 2 p.m., lucille in hand, a smile gracing his handsome features. "what are you doin', sweetheart?" he says sneaking up behind me.

i jump back, "jesus, you scared the shit out of me."

"you're jumpy as hell."

"whatever," i say turning back to my work.

"who shit in your scrambled eggs this morning?"

"get out if you don't have an injury or illness."

"what the hell did you just say to me?" he says with a suprised tone.

"i said-"

"i heard you. but do you realize who the hell you're talking to?"

"i'm talking to a guy that's in my way. don't take it personally, just trying to do my job. i know how much you appreciate a girl who can work," i say inching closer to him with my arms crossed.

he smiles and leans back, "well excuse the fuck out of me, i'll leave you to your work, doctor." his eyes travel up and down my body.

"door's that way," i point behind him, "don't let it hit you on the way out."

"she is hot as hell isn't she, carson?" he asks as he makes his way out. carson widens his eyes and looks down at the floor.

"you know what he says goes, y/n. he says your his wife and if i were you, i'd just go along with it. i'm not saying sleep with him or anything, but don't let him ruin your's or the kids' lives because of this," carson says when negan is out of hearing range.

it took me a minute to respond, "i guess i get what you're saying but, i just can't do that right now. i can't be a wife, whatever that means. these kids need me and i'm barely able to do that."

"he means best, you know?"

"yea, because killing my friends was what was best."

"i'm not saying what he did was okay, but he has a twisted way of helping other people. he was just righting the wrongs, don't forget what your group did," carson reminds me. "i've been where you are, i'm still there right now. trust me when i say listening to him is the best option."

"yea i know, but that doesn't mean i have to like him."

"no, it means you have to take what i said into consideration. i think it wise for you to become his wife."

"would i still be able to work here?", i ask as i ponder the offer.

"i don't know, probably so since you're a doctor, but negan...he's a little more complicated when it comes to his wives. i think there is more to that story than he lets on."