GyllenHolland: Chaos Walking

Relapse Pt.1

Later that night, Tom lay awake in bed. Jake was turned over facing the window, sound asleep. He stared at the ceiling once again, with a million thoughts. His mental darkness especially liked to make itself known at nighttime.

He sat up in the bed, pulling his knees into his chest. He glanced at Jake again, still sleeping like a baby. He breathed out, feeling hot tears flood his eyes. He felt them roll off his cheeks, and watched as they landed on his skin.

He'd been trying to go to sleep now for the past two hours, tossing and turning. Even Tessa was asleep by now. He looked at the clock on the wall, listening as it ticked. It read 3:00 am. The room was so quiet you could hear a pen drop.

Tom got up out of bed, tiptoeing to the living room. He turned on the tv, hoping to get his mind off himself. He flicked through at least ten channels before finally deciding to just watch the news.

"This just in, four thousand more cases of Covid-19 have been reported. In the state of California alone. Along with over a hundred new deaths. Bringing the death toll to-"

Tom turned the tv off, not wanting to hear anymore. It was hard trying to stay positive nowadays. Coronavirus was all anyone talked about, and he was tired of hearing it. Put Jake being distant and his own mental health crises on top of it, adds up to this not being a good situation for him.

His eyes watered again. He stood up off the couch, and started walking back to the bedroom. Something caught his eye strutting past the kitchen though. An old friend. A dangerous one.

He caught himself picking up one of the knives that laid on the counter. Tears were falling so hard that he couldn't breathe. His hands shook as he held it to his wrist. And without second guessing himself, he did it. He slid the blade across his skin, sobbing as blood bled out of his wound.

Tom was planning on doing it again, until he heard squeaking coming from the bedroom. He washed his wrist and knife off in the sink, pulling down his hoodie sleeve to cover it. He dried his hands and wiped his teary eyes.

"Baby?" Jake said standing in the kitchen doorway. "What are you doing up?"

"I-I um," his voice shook, "I needed some water." He picked up a glass, and turned on the faucet, fulfilling his lie. His wrist was throbbing with pain as he held the cup up to his lips.

"Okay just come back to bed soon." He kissed him on the cheek before walking out of the kitchen.

Tom listened as the bed squeaked, letting his body relax. He rolled up his hoodie sleeve, gazing at the gash in his wrist. He was disappointed in himself. All his scars had faded by now, and he just ruined that.

He walked back into the bedroom, climbing into bed. Jake rolled over and laid his arm across Tom's chest. Tom twirled his unkept hair, breathing quietly. He listened as crickets chirped and the wind blew from outside. He finally found slumber by listening to the ticks of the wall clock.

——————-

The sun shining through the apartment curtains woke Jake up. It was hitting him directly in the face, hard to ignore. He leaned against the headboard and yawned. Tom was asleep on his waist, softly snoring.

Jake reached up and touched his lips, still hurting from Tom biting him so hard. He took his phone off charge and started his morning routine. He scrolled through his emails, Twitter feed, and Instagram page.

He was about to put down his phone when a post caught his attention. A few fans were going off on him about cheating on Tom. The video of him and Alyssa was leaked to the public, and everyone was going nuts. Comments ranged from "you don't deserve him" to "I knew you weren't good enough".