Dear Marco ✅

XX

XX - HEART-STOPPING WAVES

"You look like shit." 

Thoren looked up and saw his brother. He shrugged and chugged the bottle of alcohol in his hand and ignored his brother. He saw Theo walk towards him and it was too late when he realized his brother snatch the bottle in his hand and placed it away from him. 

"The hell is your problem?" aniya at tumayo para kunin ang alak na inagaw ng kapatid pero bago pa siya makalapit ay tinulak siya ni Theo kaya napaupo siya sa sahig. Walang gana niyang tiningnan ang kapatid. Hindi niya alam kung anong gusto nito mangyari. Hindi ba siya nito pwedeng pabayaan nalang muna? He needs to be alone. Damn it. 

"I said you look like shit." ulit ni Theo sa kaninang pambungad nito sa kaniya. 

"What the hell is it to you?" aniya at tumayo bago binangga ang kapatid sa balikat bago kinuha ang alak at tinungga. Of course he knows he looks like hell. He feels like in hell, too. Wala na siyang balita kay Kirsen dahil pinakiusapan siya nitong di na muna magpakita. Ayaw man niya nahihiya rin siya sa sinabi ng nanay niya sa nanay ni Kirsen. It was rude and he did nothing. His attempts to stop his mother was futile. 

Pakiramdam niya ang gago niya. Hindi siya agad nakakibo nung sabihin ng nanay niya na wala ng pag-asa si Kirsen. Ang totoo...nararamdaman niya rin yun minsan. Tao lang din siya. May mga pagkakataon na pakiramdam niya wala na talagang pag-asa. Parang araw araw lumalayo sa kaniya si Kirsen, parang kandilang nauupos ng dahan-dahan.

"I'm your brother. Does that answer your stupid question?" bumalik siya sa realidad ng umimik ang kapatid niya. Sa lalim ng iniisip niya ay saglit niyang nakalimutan na kasama niya pala si Theo. 

Hinilamos niya ang kamay sa mukha at bumuntong hininga. "I know why you're here. Tell mom I'm fine. Now, leave." aniya at tinalikuran si Theo. 

After that incident, sobrang naguilty ang mama niya. Alam niyang matagal na na magkaibigan ang nanay niya at ang nanay ni Kirsen kaya alam niyang hindi rin maganda ang pakiramdam ng nanay niya ngayon. Alam niya rin na sinisisi ng mama niya ang sarili nito pero anong gagawin niya? Hindi niya gustong magpanggap na pumapanig siya sa mama niya ngayon. 

Sa kanilang magkakapatid, siya ang pinakamalapit sa nanay niya. Mas malapit siya sa mama niya kumpara sa daddy niya. Lahat ng gusto ng mama niya, ginagawa niya. Mama's boy kung tawagin ng mga kakilala niya. Alam niya rin na gusto lang naman ng mama niya na mapabuti siya. Pakiramdam ng mama niya, sinasayang niya ang buhay niya kasi may taning ang buhay ng kasintahan niya. Napapabayaan niya na ang kumpanya at hindi na natutuwa ang lola niya sa kaniya. 

Alam na alam niya ang hirap ng mama niya sa lola niya at alam niya ang takot nito na mawala ang positibong opinyon ng lola niya rito. But he also knew that his mom took it too far this time around. And it affected him pero hindi siya makapili sa pagitan ng mama niya at ni Kirsen. Lalo lang siyang nakonsensya ng si Kirsen na ang nagdesisyon para sa kanila. 

He's considered to be smart. How can he not know what his girlfriend was thinking nung tinulak siya nito papalayo? Did she really want that? No. Pero they also have to think about their moms. His mom hurt her and her mom. As much as he want to choose her, he found it difficult. 

"Kuya, alam mo ba kung anong problema sa'yo?" biglang tanong ni Theo sa kaniya. Natigilan din siya ng marinig ito. Not sure whether to continue listening or to just leave him there to his thoughts. 

Theo seemed to take his pause as a signal to continue. "Masyado mong pinagiisipan ang mga bagay. You're too nice. Too nice that it pisses me off." his brother coldly said. 

Nakakunot ang noo niya itong nilingon. Theo's expression is cold and he was surprised to see a little hate in his eyes. Hindi siya umimik at nagpatuloy lang din ang huli sa pagsasalita. 

"You think being nice is good but truthfully, you're just a huge coward. Iyan ang namana mo sa nanay natin. And it's not even a good trait." 

"Shut your mouth, Theo. Binabastos mo nanay natin." 

"I thought you're smart?" Theo smirked, "Seems like you're only book smart but you're actually stupid when handling real life matters. I still wonder bakit ikaw ang pinili nila na maging tagapagmana ni Dad. You don't deserve it. Even Tabitha is smarter." 

"Pathetic. Hindi kita papatulan. Leave." aniya at tumalikod na. 

"You actually believed mom, right? You think the same way as her. You feel that you're wasting your time with Kirsen and only stayed out of pity." 

Kung papaano siya tumalikod at kung papaano lumipad ang kamao niya papaunta sa panga ni Theo ay di niya na namalayan. Kinuwelyuhan niya ang kapatid, "What do you know?" he growled. 

"I know you enough. I know that you don't really like her. You pitied her. She made the good decision by leaving you. You can even be fooled by your feelings. What rights do you have to manage a company? Ibabagsak mo lang ang pinaghirapan ng mga Sylvestre." anito at tinulak siya kaya nabitawan niya rin ang kuwelyo ng kapatid. 

Hindi niya na namalayan kung kelan umalis ang kapatid niya. He absent-mindedly took a shower and drove straight to the hospital. 

Is it real? Talaga bang naawa lang siya? Nacurious sa nag-iiwan ng mga sulat para sa kaniya at panandaliang nabighani ng babaeng misteryoso at ayaw magpakilala. Nung malaman niya na si Kirsen at may taning ang buhay, nanatili siya dahil mahal niya. 

O mahal niya ba talaga? 

He knew she's important to him. But now he wonders...is it really because of pity?

Just as he was about to knock on Kirsen's door, he noticed that there was a nurse and a staff cleaning the room. Napakunot ang noo niya at hindi na napigilang magtanong. Lumipat ba ng kwarto si Kirsen? 

"Excuse me, nasaan ang pasyente dito?" he politely asked. 

Then like a bomb, his expression changed when he heard the nurse's answer. Bullshit. If he was still wondering if he really stayed because of pity then he confirmed that those thoughts were pure bull. 

"Sir? Wala na po yung pasyente rito."