Madison: because I'm a slow walker
Mulligan: because I'm "not funny" (fuck you im hilarious)
Peggy: because I sing off key
Burr: because I blink too much
Laurens: because I like country music
Philip: because my head was too small
Eliza: because I kiss with my eyes open
Angelica: because I talk during movies
Jefferson: because he learned that not all vaginas are equal (I don't understand either)
Seabury: I breath too loud
Hamilton: because there are too many delicious varieties of fish in the sea to settle for just one (I wish I was kidding)
King George: he learned that variety is the slice of life or some dumb shit like that
Lafayette: because my accent is annoying
Lee: because I walk like a T. rex
Washington: Because I hold my fork with an overhand grip
