Year 18

-Chapter 21-

Kane is silent throughout all of breakfast.

I have to wonder what's changed. Just last night he asked me to come stay with him despite having admitted he's struggling to believe I am who I claim to be. And even this morning he had seemed so happy talking about Amelia.

I know there's something he's keeping from me, and while I respect it, I'm worried for his sake. Because whatever he's keeping secret is hurting him.

As Kane goes to grab a rag to wipe Amelia's face and hands with, I sit and take a moment to look at her. I feel as though she's grown a bunch since I last saw her, despite it not being all that long ago. It feels as though it was forever ago.

"I have some things I need to do today," Kane steps back next to Amelia's highchair. "I can take her with me, give you some time to settle back in."

Shaking my head, I reach for her hand, watching as she smiles at my touch. "If it's okay, I'd really love to spend some time with her," hesitantly I add, "and with you also."

Kane nods, his Adam's apple bobbing, but he doesn't acknowledge what I've said, at least not in its entirety. "If she needs anything, let me know. I'll be in my office most of the day."

Not if you need anything. Not if either of you need anything. I swallow the pain rising in my throat. I need to be understanding.

"I'm sure she'll be alright." Then after a pause I add, "how's Paul?"

"I checked in with him last night, but I'll be going back to his room again before heading to my office."

"His room?"

Kane nods slowly. "Paul was the one keeping him in a cage. I know I allowed it, but I had no idea..." he takes a shallow breath. "He's restrained, but he's comfortable. We moved him after he lashed out."

I wish I could go see him, but I know I can't. He's still connected to the Government as far as we know. We can't risk him knowing I'm here before the Government discovers it. We need all the time advantages we can get.

"Will you let me know how he is?"

With another nod, Kane finishes wiping Amelia's hands, and a small glob of fruit hanging from her chin before grabbing his LR-9 off the counter and heading out of the room.

"Amelia, I don't know what to do," I whisper after I'm sure Kane's long gone. Of course there's no response, but the peaceful look on her face brings me a calm I'm unable to find anywhere else. Kane's attitude toward me seems to switch with no warning. One minute he seems relieved that I'm here, and then the next his worries that I'm a fraud crawl back, batting any hope out of its place.

"What should we do today?"

I want to take my mind off things, but I know it's impossible. There's an entire group of people that I hold dear that are being put into hiding on my behalf. I shake off the guilt clinging to my shoulders. This is truly the Government's doing, not mine. And yet, could I have changed it?

No use in wondering. I can change it now, or at the very least, I can better it.

That much at least is under my control.

I pull Amelia's pants up to her waist, surprised to see that these too have gotten tight. She's grown quite a bit since the last time someone brought her new clothes from town.

"These will have to do for now little one," I say, reaching for a pair that I know are a bit loose around the waist, but they will be better than the ones I picked that barely allowed me to tug them into place.

Changing her has become more difficult, her new love of crawling manifesting itself in rolling away every time I try to set her on her back. And yet, there are brief moments throughout the whole ordeal where she pauses, as though remembering how long it's been since she saw me, her eyes focused on my face, only straying when the trance is broken.

Moving out into the living room, I adjust to the brightness of open area in comparison to my room. It had been an odd feeling walking into my room, seeing the bed still made, waiting. Everything was as I had left it, as though my return had been expected, not just hoped for.

I let Amelia crawl around the rug tucked under the coffee table, watching as she plays with a few items I selected from around the room I hope she'll find engaging.

I can't help the need burning in my chest to check the NEWS. I have to wonder what I've missed. Has the Government discovered I'm gone? The lockdown occurred last night, and I can only imagine all the issues that's posed for citizens. Not only that, but if all this time has transpired, I can't imagine the Government hasn't heard from Mr. Jaccobs that I'm gone. I can't imagine the Leader isn't already on the hunt. And yet, when I turn on the television on the wall opposite from me, there are no headlines with my name, no pictures of me taking up the screen.

Tonight is supposed to be my execution, though this won't be made public until the spectacle was set to begin. But what is there for them to broadcast? In only a matter of hours I was set to lose my life.

The only News of interest is talk of unrest in some of the poorer neighborhoods; individuals who are being directly affected by the Government Agents now looming over them. For many, they will be heavily scrutinized and torn apart to give the Government a footing to stand on. If it appears that rebels, whether they are truly or not, are rising up to fight, the Government will use this. They'll create an uproar if it allows them to keep their façade of the rescuers. And who better to pick on than those that can't defend themselves, those who are already beaten and battered?

The thought makes me sick, but it far from surprises me.

The Government isn't above stirring up havoc for their own benefit. They're not above much of anything.

And Charlie is still there with them.

My mind can't help wandering to him, worried about what he may be forced to deal with for his aiding in my escape. It won't be hard for them to draw the connections if they haven't already. He talked to Mr. Jaccobs. He's the person I was last seen with, not to mention his already previous allegiance to Kane and the Year Movement.

I wish I could have convinced him to come along.

We'll get him back. It certainly won't be today, and it may not be tomorrow, but I know that one day we'll be able to welcome him back and hopefully put the past behind us all. I think we deserve that much at least.

A/N ~ I'm so sorry for how long it's been since I updated! Life has been crazy, from finals a while back to other unexpected bumps in the road. I know that this book has had some slow moving pieces, but I think everything is really about to pick up speed in the next few chapters. 

Questions:

1.) How do you think Kane and Felisha can/will mend their relationship?

2.) How do you think the Government is going to handle Fel not being at the Cell?

3.) Any questions for me or your fellow readers?

Thanks Year Movement, and I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! There's a lot more coming your way in the future!

-Sarah