Year 18

-Chapter 8-

"Were you behind the attacks?" I ask, laying my head on Kane's chest, his cotton shirt soft against my cheek, his hand tangled in my hair. His eyes look over my face as if checking to see if I'm serious.

"Absolutely not," He responds, wrapping his free arm around me, pulling me against his side, "I wouldn't have put you in danger like that."

"I knew it wasn't you."

"But you still asked."

"Sorry," I say sheepishly. I know Kane, but that doesn't mean that there are things about him that can't still surprise me. I'm sure there are so many things I am still unaware of.

I roll onto my other side, facing my back to Kane. I look down over the side of the bed to see Amelia sleeping in her crib. I feel such a mix of emotions looking at her. How much am I missing right now? How is she doing now that I'm gone?

"She misses you," He says, his lips pressed to the back of my neck, "and she's not the only one."

I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"The other night," He says, "I was trying to put her down for the night and she wouldn't stop crying. I tried everything, but I think she wanted you."

I think about all the times Kane was the one person needed to ease Amelia, to get her to calm down enough that she would actually fall asleep. I remember all those nights where he would have to come to my aid, to hold her for me.

I reach over the side of the bed, picking Amelia up, holding her against my chest. Her fingers instantly grab a handful of my shirt, trying to pull it to her mouth. "She's hungry," I say, looking around me as if a bottle will be there.

"I have some bottles in the kitchen," Kane offers, starting to get up. He looks exhausted, from the redness of his eyes, to the slight hanging of his head.

"No," I say, watching as Kane eases down onto his back again, "please, allow me. I'll be back."

I wake up, looking to my side, despite knowing I won't see Kane there.

I take a deep breath, pushing myself up onto my knees, then onto my feet.

Life in this Cell is so disorienting. I don't know what day it is anymore, I don't even know what time of day it is. I haven't been outside since Kane left and I haven't been outside of my Cell other than yesterday when the raid occurred.

I feel as though I'm just existing. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Are you awake in there?" Cullen calls through the Cell door.

I debate answering him. Maybe if I lie down I can fall asleep again, maybe he won't ask another time.

"Unfortunately," I walk over to the Cell door and peer out, seeing Cullen there, dressed in full gear. "What's the occasion?" I ask, pointing to his suit, helmet, and the belt of weapons I can see at his hips.

He looks away for a moment, then takes a deep breath.

"They're taking you out today."

I stop.

"Why would they do that?" I fear that the answer may be better left unsaid.

Cullen's jaw tightens and he steps forward, letting me out of the Cell, instantly cuffing me. "Just be happy I fought my way onto the team going out with you today."