Relationship Status - It's complicated

Chapter 13 - I Want To Put Out My Story Today

Anjali 

I had been lounging in my room and setting out the clothes to wear next day evening already. I was meeting Shiv tomorrow and I had decided I would tell him everything including how I had submitted an application for adoption at the Little Angels Orphanage. I thought he should know everything as it would give him a holistic picture of me. Yes, I had called him by the entrance of the orphanage and my plan was to sit by the roadside eatery which wasn't too roadside in real as it overlooked the large orphanage garden which was fenced but gave a good peek-a-boo from the eatery. One of the main reasons of choosing this place was that it was never too crowded on a weekend and this place offered enough privacy and I thought the open layout would help my mental self to pour out my story better than in a closed seating of a restaurant or a indoor coffee cafe like last time. 

Aniket Jiju had informed Papa a couple of days back that he used the information that I had given him and checked in with one of Shiv's wife's close friend under total confidence. This friend Prachi was actually someone from Shiv and Aniket Jiju's college. Aniket Jiju had been hesitant on reaching out to her earlier since she was someone who used to be very close to Shikha and didn't want her biased opinion against Shiv. However, he thought it was ok to meet with her and try to get information only under the condition that she wouldn't tell Shikha. She ended up being a mature woman and repeated the same story that Shiv had told me about his marriage. Prachi also said that Shikha was always a difficult person to deal with and that her reasoning for divorce was totally unacceptable but may be it was just their destiny that they are not together anymore. She didn't say anything about Shiv that was in a negative light. Aniket Jiju, therefore came home and informed Papa everything. 

I also learnt a couple of hours back that Papa had hired a professional detective after checking in with Pooja's father. Uncle had given Papa the contact of detective agency who came highly recommended from his friend. This detective was to monitor every activity of Shiv and his family members and send us a daily update. I didn't know how to feel about the whole detective yet as I imagined what it would feel like to be constantly under surveillance. My worry stemmed from the fact that it was more than possible that Shiv would say no to the alliance after knowing the truth surrounding my marriage. Why anyone so capable of finding a very fine young partner fully capable of returning feelings would want to marry a woman like me who was so broken and abused that she didn't believe in herself? 

Ma walked in as per her night time routine and put the laundered clothes in my wardrobe. 

"Will you wear this tomorrow when you go to meet Shiv?" She asked pointing at the cream colored salwar kameez with a red dupatta that I put out. 

"Umm Hmm. Yes. Why?" 
My mother usually asked me to wear more fancier clothes but this time she had really shut down after my divorce. I was sure, if I married again then she would gather the most glittering and the most trendy clothes and make me her own model to try on all those clothes. Sometimes, I felt like marrying again just for their sake, just to see them, my parents happy and content.

"No, I was just asking. Anjali, Are you feeling ok, beta?" She closed the wardrobe and sat beside me. 

"I don't know but now I just want to tell him and get over with it. Mann pe bojh sa lagne laga hai. Koi mere baare me soch raha hai begair mujhe jaane, begair mera sach jaane." 

Translation - My heart feels as if its heavy. Somebody is thinking about me without knowing me, without knowing my truth.

"Everything will be fine, my child. Keep faith in Mata Rani. Believe in yourself."

I hummed in response and Ma left the room early today. I think even she felt uneasy and wanted  to spend time with herself and may be seek comfort in Papa.