Relationship Status - It's complicated

Chapter 4 - This is so difficult

Two weeks later

Shiv 

Fifteen Years, It's been fifteen since Ma passed away. Every year on her Barsi , we had a 'Shanti Puja'. Like every year after her marriage Shivani, Jai Jeeja along with Riya had flown down for the Puja.  Right now, after the Puja, Riya sat in her grandfathers lap on our rocking chair and listening to my father telling her tales occasionally both high-fiving to each other and my father kissing the side of her head.

Barsi - death anniversary

Shanti Puja - Peace Prayer

"Pata hai Riya beta, aapki Naani ko sabse jyada kya pasand aata tha?"

Do you know what your Naani (grandmother) like Riya?

"Kya Naana?"

What is it Naana?

 "Aa jao mere saath, Naana ke kamre me, phir Naana aapko Naani ki ek cheez bhi denge"

Come with me in your grandparents bedroom. Your grand father will give you something of your grandmother too

My father and little Riya then walked away to the room. Papa was going to give Riya Ma's gold chain. Every year on her death anniversary Papa gave us one thing that belonged to Ma. Riya was going to get a gold chain this year since she had recently celebrated her first double digit birthday. He said thats what our mother would have done anyways. 

Papa somehow had kept a very positive attitude ever since Ma passed away. He did take time to accept her passing away. 

It was super sudden - Papa had been out for a morning walk with his friends. I was getting ready to go to college and Shivani had already left for her college (she had early morning extra classes that day) when Papa came back from his walk and asked about Ma. I had assumed Ma was also out for a walk since the apartment was exceptionally quiet and she did accompany Papa sometimes. Me and Papa went to their bedroom to see Ma still sleeping and we thought she had been complaining of body ache the day before and hence she decided to sleep in. Papa then called out Ma and when she didn't make a movement, he pulled the duvet down to see a very purplish-blue looking Ma. She had passed away in her sleep itself giving us the shock of our lives. The post mortem had quoted cause of death as 'heart attack'. 

Harshit being the youngest had clinged on to Papa. Me and Shivani were there for each other. It wasn't always like this - Me, Shivani and Papa were a team while Harshit and Ma were another team. However, that day the team had changed and was one person down. It took several days for Papa and Harshit to calm down but then when they did calm down, they had somehow gathered all the courage and strength to face Ma's loss and yet maintain positivity. 

Shivani walked over to me as I stood with arms crossed on my chest lost in my thoughts.

"Papa to hamesha se strong hain" She hugged me, she was older than me by 2 years but she had long been tiny infront of me as we grew together. Fighting back my tears, I hugged her.

Papa has always been strong.

"Hmm, I don't know how he manages sometimes. I don't know how he has survived so many years without Ma."

Harshit joined us in our group hug too. "Oh come on you two old people. Let's go and see what we will get this year from Papa". 

We laughed at Harshit's attempt to cheer us when Jai Jeeja mentioned that he will fly out tonight but Riya and Shivani will stay with us for few more days. 

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Shivani and I were watching a movie one evening while Riya slept beside us. Well, it wasn't her fault, we had played "Hum Aapke Hain Kaun" and she couldn't take it beyond an hour. Harshit had already given up on us and was in his room watching some English action movie as we occasionally heard bullet sounds and fighting sequences.