Relationship Status - It's complicated

Chapter 27 - Anjali's Kingdom or Shiv's Palace

Content warning - Mature theme and language throughout. 

Anjali

I stood in absolute disbelief with my balance threatening to loose any second now. I was angry, I didn't know if I was right or no but I was angry! Shikha? He addressed me as Shikha twice! Why did he go? and Where did he go? Has she been on his mind all this long?  

Was everything a joke then? Was it going to be the same all over again except that this time there was a girl !? Tears started running down my cheeks. How was this happening to me? What mistakes am I making? 

Yesterday, he was being all romantic and we were kissing Iike there was nothing else in the world we needed. Was he with me or with her? I let out a huge sigh and started to calm myself. I had to figure out what was going on - Kahin aisa na hon ki kisi ki parchayi ban kar reh jaun!  

He has always behaved very maturely and has been more than understanding towards me. May be, he was going through something just like I was. Why didn't he talk to me? Did I not give him the feeling that he can share with me too? Or did I just burden him too much with my own past? Maybe, I shouldn't have said anything that night. But, it had felt right to open up to him. 

What was going on with him ? I would have been happy to take things with him forward yesterday when we were kissing and basically dry humping as I was feeling comfortable but it was kind of odd when he broke apart and requested to finish in the shower. May be, I should have said something! I should have stopped him. May be it was just that! But, if he asked, I wouldn't have said no. 

Urrrgh, I will talk to him. I was getting worried if he finished thinking of her because of which he had a slip up this morning ? Once was maybe ok, I could have understood but then twice! And then, he walked away! 

It isn't making sense - walking away is not his characteristic trait, atleast from what I have seen so far. 

Just then my phone rang and I saw it was Pooja. I decided to cut the call because if I received it, I would end up revealing things which now I shouldn't. These things had to remain between a husband and wife until they grew to a point where we needed intervention. Manish flashed infront of me and I just wanted to forget his ugly face! 

Shiv 

Ouch ! This is what I deserve! I punched the punching bag again and then again and then again! I looked around, I was the only person in the gym right now fully clothed in non-gym clothes. I felt my eyes burn. What had I done? Her hurt and angry face flashed infront of me. Not once, but twice I said Shikha. Sh*t, Sh*t, Sh*t!!!

The back of my right palm was bruising now and hurting but Anjali was hurting more. 

The first time I wasn't even looking at her, the second time I was looking at her and even then I had a slip up, how? Why are her thoughts still bothering me so much.

I hurt an already hurting Anjali! 

I had almost called her Shikha in my sleep in Mumbai. May be that was a sign, I should have been more careful. I stared outside the large window of the gym opening up to the backwaters. And then, it dawned on me - I had bought this upon myself and her. 

Shikha's thoughts ! Why did I think of her that night ! Then just like lightening striking on earth, it dawned on me - I had made a series of mistakes, no, not mistakes but blunders after losing myself in Shikha's thoughts that one time. Anjali was trying so hard! She wore that saree for me. She didn't resist, not once yesterday and what had I done - I didn't say a word but instead assumed she was unwell and didn't want it! When did this start becoming about me? Was it all because of crazy s*xual urges? No no, this is me, all because of me !