Relationship Status - It's complicated

Chapter 15 - You Should Smile More

Shiv

 "I also want you to know that I am leaning towards a yes after all. I respect you and I trust you from what I have seen so far. I wanted to let you know in person."

That was my very honest opinion. Her eyes met mine for a brief couple of seconds and then she lowered her gaze and followed it to the cup. She brushed her hair aside and rested it below her ear. Did she just blush a little? Maybe not but I really think she did. She was indeed pretty in her own way. 

She looked up from the cup and said, "Shiv, main samajh nahi pa rahi hun ki aap se kya kahun?"

translation - Shiv, I don't understand what I should be telling you

Of course, there were too many things for her to still think through. 

"Aur ye baat main samjhta hun. Aapke liye ye kadam badhana bahot mushkil hai. Which is why I wanted to talk to you before you leave. I gave it a lot of thought in past couple of days and I think Dadi is right. Nobody can guarantee success in a marriage. We have to work towards it. We married people we thought we knew and look where we are. I think I can handle it, handle you and me of course with your support."

translation - And I understand that. It is difficult for you to walk this step.

I sighed while she continued to look at her cup of tea. "Anjali, I find no reason to walk away except that you don't want this. And by you, I mean You. You should want this or not want this. Please tell me if we are rushing and we will slow it down immediately and if we aren't then I think we should just explore the rollercoaster called life."

"I don't want pity or sympathy for my past." She spoke not looking at me. 

"Why would you think that? Koi sympathy jatane ke liye shaadi nahi karta, wo bhi aisa insaan jisne khud dhokha khaaya ho. Aapke jo bhi sawal hain, jo bhi insecurities hain, mujhse share karein iss waqt. Main saare sawalon ka jawab main dunga. I am not promising that I will always keep you happy. I can't make that promise unless you let me do so."

Translation -  Why would anyone marry for showing sympathy. That too that person who has been betrayed in life. Whatever questions you have, whatever insecurities you have, please share with me. I will answer all your questions.

"if you see from my perspective then you are a very strong individual perhaps stronger than me.

I finally took a sip of chai from my own cup. My mouth was running dry and honestly I didn't have anything else to say. 

Ahh, those grilled sandwiches do look tempting. I can taste one, right? It's not on my diet chart today. I didn't eat anything after lunch and  its ringing 7, maybe I should have ordered something healthy not a grilled sandwich sprinkled with cheese gratings a little too graciously. Yaar, kha hi leta hun, stress ke maare bhuk bahot lagti hai. 

Translation - I will just eat it, stress makes me very hungry.

"You don't like sandwiches?  We can order something else, Shiv." Anjali gave me a very concerned look. She must have seen me staring at the sandwiches. Anybody would notice if you stared at the sandwich hungrily, you idiot!

"It's not that Anjali. I ..umm..I am trying to follow a diet regime..You know to..umm..reduce some extra kilos." I smiled and this time she definitely blushed. She smiled and then lowered her gaze. 

"It's ok, you can taste some. Office se aaye hain aap, you must be hungry." She nodded and her gaze travelled to the sandwiches this time. 

"You are right. It's been a long day. Besides, they look really nice. Why don't you eat also?" We had ordered two portions. So, I pushed her plate towards her.