MBS1 : My Patient is a Mafia Boss

Chapter forty four

*DEATH'S POV*

My heart is breaking... It was breaking into pieces as I regret everything while watching briar's sleeping...

She's already stable and looking fine, but Hindi yun Ang sumisira sa puso ko, I'm happy seeing her already ok like this but the pictures I'm holding is Killing me slowly as I imagine some situation it treasures

Yes I'm holding some of her pictures Ng Hindi pa sya naooperahan, Ezra give it to me since I have the right too, but I regret accepting it... it's making my heart ache and it pained me very much

Ang laki Ng ipinayat nya sa picture and she's so pale like na Wala nang dugong dumadaloy sa katawan nya and I bet she's also so cold, marami ring tubo Ang nakakabit sa may upper Tommy and heart nya, then some big bandages around her head... Aside from that only a machine is supporting her to stay alive

I'm blaming myself for this, dahil sa akin na ranasan nya ang mga ganitong bagay, she must been having a hard time to deal with it and I already wanted to kill myself for doing all of this to her

She must have wanted to give up and I wouldn't be surprised if she did, and Ezra was right I'm not very deserving for her... She's too precious to be mine

Damn! I'm regretting everything I've done... And it makes me think and wonder about my every decision and move I made back then...

I mean, what if I fight along side with her while facing Brittany? What if I didn't push her away from me just because of her safety? What if I didn't become that afraid to lose her and let her stays with me? What if I made my decision differently? What if I didn't become a fool and coward that time three years ago back then when I still have her?

Pano Kung Hindi ko sya hinayaang umalis nuon and Fallows her? What if I didn't make things so complicated and hurt her badly with out me explaining? Kung sinabi ko ba Ang lahat and clear myself to her ay magiging ganito parin Ang kalalabasan? Is she going to stay?

Iba Kaya Ang kalalabasan Ng lahat kung iba din Ang naging decision ko back then? Or it will also turns out like this? Mararanasan ba ni briar Ang ganitong suffering in my hands if I chooses her to stay with me? Hindi ba Mangyayari Ang lahat Ng to just because I let my pride eat me? that it's better she's away from me so she'll be safe??

Back then I know to myself na Ang lahat Ng ginagawa ko ay para sa ikabubuti nya, I didn't have doubts cause I know it's better that way, but just remembering it now And looking at briar makes me feel guilty na ginawa ko Ang mga decision nayun

I'm already doubting myself and couldn't find the 'me' back then while doing that decisions three years ago...

I was confused. Ang dami Kong mga tanong sa lahat Ng ginawa ko, my thoughts was full of doubts and it frustrates me, I didn't know that after everything I did so far that it will turn out like this

And I can't seems to find myself cause I'm too ashamed for doing this to my girl... I let her suffer alone, Wala ako sa mga oras na kailangan na kailangan nya ako and it's making my emotions Worst

I know my goal was clear before na ilayo ko si Briar sa akin cause that's much better than na madamay pa sya sa lahat Ng gulo sa buhay ko, I choose to push her away and pained her para lumayo sya sa akin even though we're both breaking Inside, I'm also against it but my mind is too preoccupied about her safety and that's the only way that comes in my mind

I forgot to fight for us and I insist to push her away...I chooses to hurt her and it ruined us both...it was painful and I'm on fault...

Gusto Kung mag Wala at sumigaw just to ease this pain in my chest but I couldn't open my mouth and move to do so... I was so dumbfounded and spacing out