never good enough

Two

*a few hours before*

"I'm so tired of this," the girls boyfriend yelled to her,"I deserve so much more." He was right but she would never admit to that. This was just another one of their many fights and she knew exactly what was gonna happen next.

"Fine,scott," she shouted,"if you deserve 'so much more' than I'm gone." She walked towards the door, following the same routine as every other day, every other week.

"You can't just leave," he argued.

"Give me one good reason to stay." But she didn't wait for an answer She just walked out the door, lighting her last cigarette because she knew he wouldn't have one, he never did. They had a very toxic relationship and were very aware of it, but it was the only thing in their lives that they could depend on.

She walked the familiar path to the nearest bar, intent on getting so wasted she wouldn't remember the previous events. Per usual, she sat on one of the empty bar stools and ordered the strongest drink they had. This was her escape from reality. This was her guilty pleasure. Because she was such a lightweight, it only took one pint and she was gone, completely oblivious to the world around her. So, when someone invited her to dance she quickly obliged. But when that same someone asked her "my place or yours?" She said no. No matter how drunk she got, she would never betray Scott. Her dance partner didn't care though. No one noticed her screams as he dragged her outside, or when she banged on the windows of his ford, not even when she was rushed through the hotel halls to his room. But it wasn't until she was tied to his bed, did she lose hope. As his hands groped her body she allowed the tears to flow. While he took advantage of her she tried to remember the moments when her and Scott were happy, when they were in love. He would hold her whenever she was scared and whisper "don't worry, my sweet em. Everything is OK because I won't let anything hurt you, I promise." She used to hate it when he called her that, but now she would do anything to be his 'sweet em' again. When the cruel man was finished, he untied her and told her to 'leave, you ugly slut'. So, she threw on her clothes that were now dirty and ripped and left. She did the walk of shame all the way to her and Scotts apartment. But she couldnt make herself walk inside, because she knew Scott would just forgive her and forget anything happened. She didn't want that, though. She was tired of hurting him and taking him for granted. So, she ran as fast and as far as she could until she was near the highway. She stood on the edge of the road and prayed. She prayed that Scott would find a nice girl that would treat him better than she ever could.

She was gonna do what she though was best for everyone - give up. After about half an hour, she saw a car coming. So, she walked into the middle of the road and held her eyes closed, waiting for impact. When it didn't come she opened one of her eyes and realized that the car had stopped a few inches in front of her. She cursed under her breath and ran to the side of the car pleading for help, but she knew they couldn't help her, because only death could.

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*authors note*
I am not promoting suicide or rape at all and I apologize if any one feels that i am. If you are or someone you know is suicidal, please stay strong and get help. On a happier note, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.