Konosuba x Male Reader

Chapter 12

Aqua: Achoo!

Inside the now-empty mansion, Kazuma, Y/n, and Aqua are sitting in what was once their living room. They had a few twigs in the fireplace and Kazuma and Aqua are shivering from the winter cold as snow fell outside. Y/n on the other hand was simply vibing in his winter clothes since, you know, he still has those.

Aqua: Cold... I'm so cold... Warm me up... Somebody warm me up...

Kazuma: AAAAAHHHH!!!

Y/n: The fuck?

Aqua: What's wrong with you!?

Kazuma: Don't you two get it!? Darkness went to deal with that lord last night and never came back! She's probably...

Realization dawned on the two morons' faces and the trio of idiots all scream at the same time. Their screaming is only interrupted by the sound of a cat meowing. They turn to see Megumin had entered the room holding a small black cat.

Y/n: Alright, brat. What's with the cat?

Megumin: I doubt she'll cause much trouble so...

Y/n: What, wanna keep her as a pet?

Megumin: Is that all right?

Y/n: This decision will depend entirely on how it reacts when I pet it as I am unnaturally petty.

The trio of bumbling buffoons approached Megumin and Y/n reaches out and scratches under the cat's chin. He gets a nice response with the cat just meowing. Kazuma gets the same response but when Aqua tries to pet the cat, it scratches her.

Aqua: Ow! Hey, why'd she only scratch me!? Unbelievable! Between that jet-black fur and that imperious attitude, I can sense some kind of malevolent aura!

Y/n: I like the cat. It doesn't like Aqua.

Aqua: Hey!

Y/n: What're you calling it?

Megumin: Chomusuke.

Y/K/A: Hmm...

Kazuma: What'd you-

Megumin: She's Chomusuke.

They don't drop their deadpan at Megumin's naming sense and the girl in question decides to change topics.

Megumin: Anyways, what were you three making a fuss about anyway?

Kazuma: How can you be so calm? As we speak, Darkness might be-

Megumin: There might be unsavory rumors about that lord, but I doubt Darkness could easily be-

Y/n: This is the problem with brats that have no life experience!

Kazuma: You don't understand that deviant at all! "You can do what you want with my body... But don't think you'll have your way with my heart!!"

Kazuma even gets all dramatic, hugging his body and acting like Darkness.

Y/n: Definitely sounds like that shitty crusader.

Megumin is so shocked by the revelation that she drops Chomusuke. Fuck that's annoying to type. From now on, Chomusuke will be called Chomu since it's easy.

Megumin: Wh-Wh-What should we do!? Darkness is in grave danger! What should we do!?

Y/n: A bit late in the game to do anything.

Kazuma places a hand over his eyes, and his voice starts to break.

Kazuma: Y/n's right... Listen up. When she gets back, just be nice to her as you normally would.