Why? [TommyInnit Angst]

Chapter 2: News

Tommy was finally out of the shower and about half dressed. He was about to put his shirt on when he accidentally caught his reflection from the corner of his eye. Despite his instincts telling him to just continue getting ready and ignore it his body moved against it positioning him in front of his full length mirror. This gave him a full view of his body. 

He looked at himself in disgust, grabbing onto any fat he could find. 

Despite being a bit less than average size, in his mind he was still the size he was 6 months ago before his eating disorder developed which was still average.
Now to understand why Tommy felt this way you would have to go back to about 1 year ago when he first started going to the gym with his mom. 

While he was a healthy and average weight, he made a personal goal to improve his diet and exercise schedule so he could be in good shape for some vlog ideas he had been planning, which were surprisingly physically demanding like doing a military training course. 
His goal went really well at first, his diet was great, he could run 1 mile in 6 minutes and he could easily keep up with his mom in her fitness classes. His vlogs were going just as well, he jumped out of a plane, climbed a mountain with Tubbo and even attempted to box KSI who surprisingly let him win, knowing it was just a bit. 

But things took a rather scary turn one night when Tommy decided to skip dinner to stream some dream smp lore. 
Then when going out to eat with his grandma who insisted that he ordered dessert, causing him to break his almost 4 month streak of no junk food, caused his first attempt to purge. He quickly excused himself and ran to the restroom. Disgusted by what he had just done to himself he attempted to throw it up but couldn't do it as he was just dry heaving for 20 minutes. 
Because of his unsuccessful attempt he just decided to fast for a few hours afterwards. 

The next incident happened after he went to an amusement park with Tubbo. Tommy was fine with just eating a few healthy snacks here and there which was working until Tubbo insisted on splitting a funnel cake with him. Tommy couldn't turn his friend down so he just accepted and fasted afterwards. Now that would have been fine if he had just fasted for a day or two but two days turned into three and advintally turned into four days straight of not consuming any food. This was the day that Tommy made a realization, that he lost weight faster when he didn't eat anything at all and unfortunately for Tommy because he associated health with weight he made the conclusion that if he didn't eat he would be healthier. 

So now knowing how Tommy put himself into this situation we can go back to his current state.

Back to Tommy POV:

I looked at myself in the mirror. As much as I wanted to throw up I couldn't look away. I still couldn't understand why I looked like this, just six months ago I had loved how I looked but I guess that was just ignorance, I could finally wake up and see myself how every else did and god, I'm fucking disgusting. I had never really noticed how much weight I actually needed to get rid of. I mean I look like a whale. 

"Tommy, your phone is ringing!" His mom called from down stairs, snapping him from his thoughts. 

He quickly threw on his shirt and ran down the stairs to grab his phone that he left at the table with what remained of his food. 

"God that ring tone is fucking annoying, if I hear it again I'm going to smash your phone with a hammer before I ground you." A voice said from the living room.

Fuck dad's home. I debated answering but didn't feel like fighting with him today so I just nodded and went back up to my room, making a mental note to change it.

As he made it into the doorway he accepted Wilburs request to video chat.

"Hey Tommy I was just Texting Dream and he said as soon as you're ready we can hop on discord." Wilbur said, obviously excited to share the lore ideas he had been keeping to himself for months.