Celestia, you waltzed into my life and burrowed into my heart...
02 July 1945
Leste, I can't stop thinking about you, even now when you are mine. I cannot stop thinking about the brush of our hands at the exchange of our letters, or the stolen glances as our unit moves through this wasteland of a world. I cannot stop thinking about how you manage to keep a smile on your face, day after day.
Just as I could not stop thinking about you that night after we met, after I saw the concern in your eyes at my wound, when I was nothing more than a stranger. I found myself wondering how I managed to miss you before, when you were sleeping no more than twenty meters away from me, at the opposite end of the sleeping quarters.
I was lying on my back, staring at the metal ceiling, smiling like a fool for the first time since the man at the door told me my world ended. I thought of the dozens of men lying between us and almost laughed. Laughed, Leste, I almost laughed. It was absurd, I had hardly exchanged words with you. I should have been sleeping, preparing for the drills we would be running through, the heatwave that would undoubtedly continue to plague the camp making the conditions unbearable. I should have been worrying about how I would stay cool under the layers needed to mask my chest, but no.
I was thinking of your smile.
I was thinking of your hips.
I was thinking of your curves.
I was thinking, Leste, of you, as I always am.
***
The morning after that was hell, obviously. Not just from the heat (that was horrendous), but I was watching you, and I saw the way the General looked at you, like he knew you were different. Even when you ran with a loose, long-sleeve shirt, your chest was still evident. And your curves gave away too much. My stomach dropped out of me; I thought he was going to confront you. Luckily, some soldier got into a brawl on the other side of the courtyard we were running circles around, and he dropped it. That was the moment I swore I'd protect your identity with everything I had. I didn't know I loved you yet, but I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you.
After our morning training, when the other men went to the washroom, you and I both had the same idea to go back to the barracks to change.
The sleeping quarters were quite large, probably thirty meters long, simply filled with beds and storage bins. Do you remember, Leste, the sultry smile you gave me as you walked by my bunk, towards yours? Your hips swayed and you let your hair out of the cap you wore and I was in a trance, so focused on you I could hardly pull my change of trousers over my legs.
The room was so thick with tension, I looked away from you like a coward, and quickly changed. I heard the rustle of your clothes, too, and it took everything in me not to give in to the pull that I felt towards you, and take advantage of the empty room.
As I was putting away my dirty laundry, I felt your presence behind me and turned to see your hand on your hip once more. Your brown, buttoned coat hid you well this time, along with the matching trousers. I found myself looking you over from your boots to your eyes.
"Why is it I'm always finding you hardly dressed?" you asked with a smirk. My stomach had soared at that smile. You were everything. You still are.
"They are my most attractive moments," I said, and you scoffed. You scoffed at me!
"Darling," you said, leaning in. "All your moments are attractive." Your breath was warm, a hint of mint still evident from whenever you had last brushed your teeth.
The sounds of men outside the barrack were the only thing that pulled my eyes away from yours, and I damn them every day for ruining that moment, Leste. I had to quickly fix my own uniform and twist my hair into my cap.
"Meet me at the pub tonight, just before they close," you had whispered, leaving before I could reply.
Leste, I had never been so excited to go to the pub before. And for once, I wasn't going to drown my sorrows, but instead, relish in joy.
————
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