Sealed With Ink

Twenty-six

Arabella, I believe that you will light up the darkness...
28 August 1945

I am so sorry, Arabella.

I haven't been able to stop crying since I got ripped away from you, all because of that asshole, Williams.

I'm so sorry that I left you there alone, but god damn him, he had me. There was no way of reversing what he found. I didn't get the chance to explain it to you. So here it goes.

Remember how I told you about the calm before the storm?

Well, that feeling went away for a while, especially after our blessed night together.

So when I woke up to the melody of the birds chirping outside our tent on 27 July 1945, I took it as a good omen. I should have known better. The day was normal, the same as every single bloody one before. I got up, we talked whilst we changed, we had our piss poor breakfast together and we left the tent to our posts. Even Mr-Lieutenant-Wanker-Williams seemed to be in a good mood for some reason. I would find out later, it seems.

It was so sunny. I marveled at your hair, how it shined so delightfully in the light. It was like I was back in that field but instead of stars twinkling above our heads. There were small puffs of clouds that resembled the softest cotton. You had your halo, too.

"Can't get enough of me?" you teased, nudging me playfully with your elbow. I should have savored that touch, even if it was so brief.

"I was actually looking at the bit of dirt on your cheek. You look ridiculous." I didn't expect you to fall for it, but you always find a way to surprise me. One way or the other.

Your cheeks turned a rouge pink, and you started rubbing your cheeks furiously. Arabella, you looked so mortified I couldn't help but find it funny. I'd never think you look ridiculous, not in a million years. I tried to contain my laugh however it came out as a wheeze-cough-whine sound. You turned to me and burst out in a cackle. I joined in.

At least we had that final stolen moment together before it all fell apart.

As the sun rose in the sky, the day got warmer and warmer. The sun was shining so brightly it was blinding. So, I offered to go back to our tent for our caps, to shield our eyes.

I walked in and immediately felt a gun at the side of my head.

I stiffened, I didn't dare move to see who was pointing it at me. I thought it was a spy or some foreign soldier. That would have been better than the voice that filled the tent.

The voice of Lieutenant Williams.

"One sudden move and you're dead Celestia."

I flinched at my real name, my whole body was trembling from fear. I'm surprised I didn't soil myself. All I could think about was that I was going to die and that my blood would spray onto your stuff. About how that would scar you for life, about how you would wait for me and I would never come back to you.

"You're not even trying to deny it. Did you really think you would stay undiscovered under my watch?"

"How?" I breathed, I needed to know how he knew, because if he knew about me, there was a chance he knew about you too. If he did, he would have found himself with a bullet through his head.

"I can sense when there's a liar near me. You always did seem off to me. After I caught you with those bloodied trousers, I thought you had killed someone. I admit I was wrong about that, a bitch like you would never have the guts to kill someone,"

I was shaking so badly because you had been there that day. I was waiting for the stone to drop.

"Archer was probably about to rat you out, he looked so furious when I walked in there. Does he even know your dirty little secret?" At this point Williams was right as my ear, he lowered the gun down to my side. I trembled as his lips brushed my ear. "I took it upon myself to do a little research into Cedric Saxe. Turns out the bastard doesn't exist. Celestia Saxe does though, same age, same description, same household. It's not difficult to put two and two together."

Hot tears ran down my cheeks, my lips were shaking uncontrollably. I was shaking uncontrollably. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until he put the pistol back into the holster at his hip. I tried to draw a steady breath, I was so naive to think that he was going to let me stay.

I screamed as he ripped my hands from my sides and held them behind my back.

"You can share your treachery with everyone now, how does that sound?"

He shoved me in front of him, so harshly I nearly toppled over. My vision was so blurred with tears I couldn't tell where he was taking me. Then I saw a fuzzy row of uniforms, I recognized your hair amongst them. I blinked back the tears to see you better, you looked so pale. But you were safe, that was enough for me.

"We have had a traitor amongst us the whole time. Cedric is not who you believe him-- or should I say her to be." Everyone bristled at that. Everyone but you; you stood still as a statue.

"Celestia Saxe is a liar and will be sent home immediately. With an impressive fine to pay. Along with her-" and on and on he went. It was like I was hearing about my parents being taken again, I felt like I had been dunked underwater. I didn't hear the endless list of insults and punishments he threw at me, all I could look at were your eyes.

I don't know how you kept it together. Lord knows I didn't, I wept like a baby in front of all of them. I didn't care, not one bit. Before I knew it, I was being dragged again. Well, carried more like; my legs had given out completely.

They threw me into the van like I was nothing more than trash. Like I hadn't fought just as hard as the rest of them. I curled up against the corner of the van, I couldn't breathe or think. I was a living, breathing, sobbing mess. The sound of the door opening wasn't what snapped me out of it.  No, I couldn't care less who was going to keep an eye on me. It was your bundled-up hair, the halo, that brought me back into my body.

"I- Archie. I-I'm so sorry. I don't- God I'm leaving you here," I whimpered, burying my face in my knees. I only wept harder as your arms wrapped about my shaking body.

Your voice was muffled against my hair, but I heard you loud and clear as you said,

"I only have a moment, Leste. Look at me," you demanded. I hid my wet face in my hands, how has it come to this?

"Leste," you whispered, taking my hands in your own. "Look at me, darling."

Somehow, I lifted my gaze to yours.

"I'm so sorry Arabella. I-" I started.

"Shh. Breathe."

I tried to breathe, so hard. But the idea of you being out there all alone sucked all the air from the compartment of the van.

"Leste," you brushed the hair that had stuck to my cheeks away and lifted my chin, "I promise you, I will find my way back to you. One way or another. We will see each other again. When we do, we will have all the time in the world, I swear it."

I believed it--I believe it--the promise that this was not our last time together. It helped my lungs function again. I allowed myself a brief kiss with you. You whimpered when I pulled away quicker than you would have liked.

"That is a guarantee that you will come back for more, my angel. I love you," I squeezed out.

"And I love you, Celestia Saxe. More than you can imagine."

You brushed my cheek with your knuckles and slipped out of the van.

My chest felt like it had been ripped open when I realized...

My angel was going to face the world's demons alone.

I believe in my angel, though. If anyone is capable of it, it's you.

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