This Is Me

4

TW's:
-Mentions homophobia

George's POV

I was really hurt by everything that Clay had said today. Clay had one hour detention today, so I went home before we would hang out. My brother was also home now and he knocked on my door as I sat on my bed, crying softly.

'Yeah,' I whispered.

My brother walked in and locked the door behind us as he sat down next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and smiled. 'I have a surprise for you.'

'Really?'

He nodded and smiled. 'One of my friends was talking about dresses which she didn't like anymore. I asked her about it and said I knew someone who wanted some dresses and she went home during the break to get the dresses.'

He lifted up a bag and smiled. 'Maybe you don't like them, but I still have them.'

I smiled shyly and giggled. 'You didn't have to do that.'

'I felt like I did. My sibling feels really beautiful in a dress and they are beautiful in it. I want to make you happy after everything that dick of a Clay said today.'

I gave my brother a hug and opened the bag after, pulling out a red dress. It looked brownish to me, but I knew it was red and smiled. 'I love this one.'

'Put it on, I'm curious!' my brother yelled.

I smiled and pulled off my hoodie and sweats, quickly pulling on the dress after that. I smiled brightly as I looked in the mirror, feeling extremely confident again.

'You're gorgeous,' my brother smiled as he turned me around to see me better. 'You look stunning, it fits amazingly too.'

'I feel so beautiful and confident,' I smiled. 'I feel good in my more masculine clothes too, but I actually feel so beautiful now.'

'That's because you are beautiful.'

My brother opened the bag and handed me a black dress. 'It's the same size, so I think it will fit you too.'

I nodded and pulled off my old dress as I pulled on the new one. I couldn't stop smiling anymore and my brother hugged me again. 'I'm so proud that you're my sibling, I couldn't have wished for a better looking sibling than you.'

'Thank you. It means a lot to me and it also means a lot that you're using "sibling" instead of brother.'

'I don't have a brother as long as you are non-binary. I have a sister if you go by she/her, I have a brother if you go by he/him.'

I smiled shyly and hugged him again. 'This means the world to me.'

He smiled and gave me another dress. 'This is the last one. I know you're colourblind, but it's a bit purplish.'

I nodded as I pulled the current dress off, changing into the new one. I couldn't stop smiling as I had never felt more confident before.

'Do you want some makeup?' my brother asked. 'I don't know if you feel like it.'

'I would love to wear some makeup, but Clay almost saw it today.'

'I will help you clean it off.'

'Thank you,' I smiled as I walked to my closet. I grabbed my secret box of makeup and my brother smiled.

'How did you get that all?'

'I bought it and took some of mum's stuff. She doesn't use most of it so I use it. I'm only a bit scared she will see her makeup isn't there.'

'I think she would love you like this, you're really beautiful.'

I smiled and started doing my makeup. I finished ten minutes later and turned to my brother as he grabbed my hands. 'Can I ask you something?'

I nodded and we sat down on my bed. 'Do you like someone?'

I shrugged. 'I'm just attracted to some boys, but I'm not in love with anyone.'

'Who are you attracted to?'

'I don't even know some of their names. I saw two boys walk in the hallway today and they were pretty good looking. The other one, I'd rather not say. It's stupid.'

'You can tell me if you want to.'

I stared at my dress and shrugged. 'It's Clay.'

'Do you find him attractive?'

I nodded. 'But I'm scared of him, he would hate me so much if he figured out that I'm gay and dress up like this. He made a comment about it actually and I've been so sad about it all day. He wouldn't like me anymore after he would have figured out who I really am.'

'Come here,' my brother said. He hugged me and rubbed my back softly. 'I will always love you, George. No matter who you want to be or who you like. I like boys as well, I would never let you go because of that.'

'But maybe you think I'm weird, because I change gender all the time.'

'I don't think you're weird at all, I don't mind you feeling like a girl, boy or anything in between.'

'I feel so beautiful, but I'm so sad that Clay will never like me this way. He's only my friend when I'm homophobic and it hurts that he will never like me when I'm myself. I might find him attractive, but I'm also sad that he won't even like me as a friend anymore. I don't need him to be my boyfriend or anything close. I just want to be his friend.'

'Maybe his dads can talk to him about it, can you tell this to them?'

I nodded slowly. 'Shall I also tell them that I'm gay and that I dress up like this sometimes?'

'If you dare to, you can tell them. They can talk to Clay and maybe change his mind a little.'

'I don't want Clay to ever figure this out though.'

'They are gay themselves, they will understand that outing you to their homophobic son isn't going to work out that well.'

I nodded. 'I'm going to Clay in a bit, I might try to talk to them in some way.'

'Okay, let me know how it went.'

1022 words