This Is Me

6

TW's:
-Mentions homophobia

George's POV

After I removed all the makeup and put on my sweats and a shirt, I went to Clay's house. I was going to try to talk to his dads, but I wasn't sure how I was going to do that since Clay was there too.

I walked to his house and walked in without knocking. I was here so often that I could walk in whenever. I looked around me to see his dads sit on the couch. I noticed Clay wasn't here and immediately took this as my opportunity to talk to them.

'Is Clay in his room?' I muttered as I smiled at one of his dads.

He nodded. 'He is, do you want me to call him?'

'No!' I yelled. 'I uh-. Sorry, that was weird. I want to talk to you for a little without Clay here.'

'Okay, of course! Sit down. Do you want a drink?'

'No, thank you. I'm a little bit nervous, will Clay come downstairs out of nowhere?'

'I don't think he will, he's mad.'

I nodded slowly as I stared down at my hands. 'Is it alright if I ask you something personal?'

'Of course, go ahead. You can always ask us everything.'

'What are uh- your sexualities?'

One of the two men in front of me smiled. 'I'm gay,' he said. 'I've never liked a woman.'

I nodded and looked at the other parent. He smiled at me too. 'I'm pansexual, I don't really care about gender. I just like people the way they are.'

I looked back down at my hands as I let out a quiet sob.

'Are you okay?' one of Clay's dads asked me as he heard me softly sob.

I took a deep breath as I looked up to him. 'So uh- I uh- I-.' I was trying really hard to say what I wanted, but the words wouldn't leave my mouth.

Clay's dad stood up and sat down next to me on the couch as he grabbed my hands. 'Is this okay? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, I just want to calm you down.'

'I'm not feeling uncomfortable,' I smiled. 'Thank you.'

'What's wrong, George? Be free to tell us.'

'I uh- I'm uh- I-.'

'Would you like me to take a guess?'

I nodded heavily and Clay's dad smiled. 'Do you like boys?'

I took a deep and relieved breath as I nodded my head to answer him.

'Only boys?'

I nodded again and sighed. 'But I'm scared.'

'What makes you scared?'

'I uh- I well- I really love dresses and makeup and uh- I'm gender fluid and gay.'

'I'm so proud of you, George. I'm actually so proud. What genders do you switch between?'

'Uh- boy, non-binary and girl. I generally feel like a boy or non-binary, but when I wear a dress, I feel more like a girl. I feel beautiful in a dress.'

'I bet you are gorgeous in a dress.'

'I'm so scared that Clay will find out, he will hate me for the rest of his life. I can't be the person I want to be around him which sometimes hurts.'

'I totally get that, George. I don't think Clay is actually homophobic, I think it's just because of the bullying in the past. I think he's scared to show the bullies that he isn't homophobic at all. Although, it's still really hurtful.'

I nodded and stared at my hands. 'Can I show a picture of my favourite dress to you?'

'I would love to see it!' Clay's dad, who was sitting next to me, said. His other dad stood up to see the picture as well and I showed them a picture of me in the light blue dress.

'Did you do your makeup?'

I nodded with a blush on my face and Clay's dad tapped my shoulder. 'That looks amazing, George. You look so beautiful!'

'Thank you,' I smiled shyly. 'Please, don't tell Clay, though. I don't want to come out to him, I don't want to get hurt by him.'

'No worries, I won't tell him any of this. It's Clay's problem, George. You can be whoever you want and Clay doesn't have a say in that at all. It's your life and if you want to define yourself as a girl and wear dresses, he should accept that.'

'I'm not transgender, though. I'm gender fluid.'

'What gender do you go by at this moment?'

'Non-binary,' I smiled. 'Or a boy, but I prefer being non-binary at the moment.'

'Would you like us to call you they/them?'

'Not around Clay,' I muttered.

'Of course not, we aren't going to out you. Your secret is safe with us. Coming out was very hard for me too, I didn't have accepting parents. They found me even more stupid when I told them I was pansexual.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

'I don't mind, I have an amazing husband and I'm happy with him. I even have a son, he might not like us, but I still love him. I'm just wondering if he might be doubting his sexuality too.'

It hurt me to hear them speak about Clay. They were so proud of him and Clay said disgusting things about them behind their backs. Not only behind their backs, also right in their faces.

I wanted to say something else, but I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. The man sitting next to me immediately stood up and walked to the kitchen as I stood up, acting like I just came in.

Clay opened the door with red and puffy eyes and smiled shortly. 'George, you're here. Come, let's go upstairs.'

'Can you ask him if he wants a drink first?'

Clay gave his dad a deadly look and walked to me, grabbing my hand. 'Come with me.'

I nodded slowly and Clay pulled me with him. We walked the stairs and went into his room after.

'Did you cry?' I muttered as I looked at him again. 'Your eyes are red and puffy.'

Clay shook his head. 'I never cry, idiot. Only pussies cry. Let's play a game.'

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