DEATH NOTE || OBSESSION

||CHAPTER 6||

Chapter 6

// First, first pov chapter!!!

It was supposed to be a typical day. I wasn't expecting to see Ryuk at the exam building. I haven't seen him in weeks, and he never explained. I should be angry, but I couldn't help but be relieved. I wasn't nervous per se, but I was uncomfortable with all the stares. Some came from participants, others from the shadows lurking about. I felt claustrophobic, it wasn't abnormal for me, but I wish I could have done the exam in peace.

When people met my gaze, they would always walk away, even the most extroverted people did. It was partially my fault since I need to control my facial expressions 24/7, which caused me to seem somewhat emotionless to some. When honestly, I was relaxing my face.

But there was some benefit to this. No one could tell what I was thinking; no one ever cared to ask. Even though the shadows loved to bother me, humans were one of the few things that didn't. Sometimes it was fun pretending to be emotionless. It made people expect more from you. It gives an upper hand to people like myself. It makes people overthink simple things, allowing a clear path to show itself. This being said, this doesn't mean expressing emotions was easy. I had my fair share of trauma. Social cues became hard to pick up on at times. Yet, I could predict different solutions for difficult situations. I became emotionally unavailable at times. It made liking myself hard as well.

I was confident in myself, yet I couldn't help but be paranoid at the thing that can suddenly happen if I allowed myself to feel. Ryuk would be an example; I knew he got somewhat attached to me, I'm not naive. I pretend to; it creates fewer confrontations. It lets people show their true intentions. Ryuk, I knew he grew to care for me to an extent. I could tell it pained him to leave me at times. But I couldn't help but blame him.

So what if something was stopping you?

Why couldn't he try harder to stay by my side?

I'm not a nice person. I know that. I'm selfish, I'm disgusting, I've been told by many of what I am and not. Most of them I grew to accept after I learned that I wasn't perfect. Nobody was, no matter how hard they tried. It was the unbearable truth. That was what made me somewhat better than the people on earth. I could accept the unacceptable, the undesirable.

I had been ignoring Ryuk for a while now. I had no intention of listening to him during this time. Sure it might have been essential for him, but I needed this. This exam was more important than a simple apology. He could wait, just how he made me.

I knew he was growing restless. I could hear his shuffling. It was annoying, but I couldn't do anything about it after all; I was the only one who could see him at the moment.

I continued with the exam, and it was easier than I had expected. It seemed that I studied more than I needed to. The two hours given to us seemed to go slow as I finished my exam on the one-hour and twenty-three-minute mark. I finished second to a brown-haired male who had hypnotizing brown eyes. When they hit the light, they shone a red hue, something abnormal. I quickly ignored him; his aura was disgusting. It had a nasty musk. It was one of burgundy that coated his body like silk. The smell of brimstone sounded better than this- though I couldn't lie and say he wasn't attractive at least by society standards. If I had not seen his aura, I'm positive I would have found him undeniably beautiful.

Ryuk, by now, had figured that I was ignoring him. He stayed by my side anyways. Why he did, was unknown to me. But I could feel his aura start to cover the room. The stench of sadness coated the entirety of the classroom. Though it helped block out all the surrounding auras, it wasn't something I wanted at the moment.

I quietly tapped the desk, hoping Ryuk would get the hint to get closer. I felt him flinch as he began to dance around me before making his way in front of my face. A crooked smile covered half of his face. It honestly took great control not to laugh. A small smile crossed my face. It was one not many would notice. Only those who knew me well would see the difference. Surprisingly, Ryuk's smile widened after seeing my own. I couldn't help but forgive him then, my first- friend, something I could say with confidence now. He was someone I was willing to forgive more than once.

I grabbed the pen in my pencil pouch and wrote, 'i forgive you.' I gently placed my hand face up for him to read. It took him a second before he got the memo to read what was written. He glanced up with hope-filled eyes. I shyly looked away; it was embarrassing. Not that I regretted it. His aura quickly changed to relief and happiness. After some time, he said he needed to check on somebody. I just nodded. After all, he did wait quite a while for me to accept his apology. I glanced at where he went, only to see him near the guy I saw a while ago. He seemed to be talking to him; I couldn't hear what he was saying despite the room being quiet.

Was this the person who had been keeping Ryuk from me? Not that either of them owned Ryuk. Why would Ryuk surround himself with someone with such a dark aura? Sure, Ryuks' was darker, but that was because he was a shinigami. The brown-haired man was self-made. Something truly terrifying.