Book 2: Revenge of the Giant Grasshoppers

Chapter 3: Bus (Mervince)

It is Monday morning. We enter our bus--this bus isn't yellow, but it is white with a bathroom in the back. The seats are more comfortable, and the bus driver actually speaks English. Shady Grove will be a two hour drive from here, so that's why we have to use a coach bus.

Clam, Markus, our "teacher chaperone" a.k.a. Zach, Meg, Jadda, Gizzele, Douby, and I find seats near the back of the bus, so we have easy access to the bathroom, and so we can keep people from exiting the bathroom by blocking the doors with our seat.

I sit next to Clam; Markus is in front of us, threatening anyone who sits next to him; Jadda sits with Gizzele across from us; Zach sits with other teachers, outsmarting all of them in an educational game; and Meg sits with Douby in front of Jadda and Gizzele.

Clam keeps staring at Meg. Ever since the breakup, he has been super jealous of Douby.

"Clam, stahp staring at them! You're making your envy obvious!" I say.

"Mervince," he says slowly.

"Yus?" I say while raising an eyebrow.

"YOU JUST SPIT IN MY FACE! CONTROL THAT LISP OF YOURS!" He yells. "I thought it would be gone after they removed your braces!"

"I still have a retainer." I sigh. Clam turns around, facing the window. He grumbles about stabbing a bear with a toothbrush.

I take some Kool-Aid powder out of my pocket. Clam got me addicted. Why, Clam?

"Sup, Clamron." Markus balls up a piece of rice, and aims it at me, but I slap it away, and it bounces towards Clam. Then a beam of light shoots the rice, and it disappears, along with the rice. The beam of light gets sucked back to Zach's forehead.

"Knowledge has saved you," he says, like a knowledge zombie with no emotions. Someone walks down the aisles of the bus; his name is Kyrin. He has dark skin, and he wears a pair of wiry glasses. He walks in the bathroom. I look at Clam, who nods back, and we push our seat back against the bathroom door.

The toilet flushes "Aw, dang. The sink is broken!" Kyrin says. "Guess I'll have to use hand-sanitizer." He pushes against the door, but it won't open. "Uh, guys. The door is stuck."

"We know." Clam smirks, and we push back harder.

"Really guys!" Kyrin stops pushing. "Guess I'll have to stay here then.

-30 minutes later-

"Guys, I'm getting thirsty. And this sink won't work, still." Kyrin says.

"We should let him out now." I tell Clam. We stop pushing and we open the bathroom door. Kyrin is bent over, his face in the toilet bowl. Our eyes widen, and so do our mouths.

"What?" Clam and I say in unison.

"You saw nothing!" Kyrin says, and he rushes out the door.

- - -

We are back at our seats. Clam is still staring at Meg. Markus is agonizing other people on the bus. Zach is having a logic fight with Jackie. Gizzele reads a book. And Jadda is playing with Lego's.

Douby whispers something in Meg's ear. "What are they saying?!?" Clam asks me.

"And I'm the stalker." I retort.

Douby stands up and goes in the bathroom.

I decide to take a nap, so I doze off.

- - -

I wake up. I check my phone for the time. It has been twenty-three minutes after I fell asleep. Clam is on his phone, playing War of Tribes. I need to go to the bathroom, I tell myself. I get up and look at the bathroom door. Hmm, unoccupied. Okay then.

I open the door and find Meg and Douby. Clam turns around to see what's going on.

"What." I say. Douby stops kissing Meg. "Well, the door was unoccupied..."

"I thought you locked it!" Meg yells at Douby.

"I did! This bus must be broken." Douby says.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend I saw nothing." I sit back down, and so do Meg and Douby. The teachers aren't paying attention at all. Clam's expression is still frozen in shock. I pat his shoulder. "It's okay Clam, we'll make it through."

And we did.