How To Live With A Huge Penis • clifford

twenty-one - 4 months later

Michael took off his apron and hanged it on its place. He sat himself back on a fresh hold box and took a deep breath when he saw Luke Hemmings rushing into the kitchen with a saucer, full of dirty dishes.

Four months have passed really quickly. Not just two months ago Michael was at prom, celebrating that he'd finally be rid of school and now he is here, working in a restaurant, collecting and washing dishes with the probably most annoying person on Earth.

"Dude, can you explain me a thing?" Luke asked out of nowhere, while they were at the sink, washing dishes.

"What is it, Luke?" Michael sighed, putting down the plate and turning his whole attention on to what Luke had to ask.

"Why are you with Sam? It's not like she lets you fuck her or something." Luke asked, putting a hand on Michael's shoulder as in sign of sympathy.

"It's not that I am with her, I just help her through a rough time. You know, that's what friends do." Michael explained this for the third time, today.

"I really can't keep up with your love life, but you told me she said she loves you, right?" Luke asked, becoming reallly concerned about his friend.

"Yeah, she said it the day Calum left her but ... I don't think she meant it for real, I mean ... She never came back on it in more than four months, it's ridiculous." he rambled, becoming too carried away again.

"Wow." Luke scoffed. "Whenever I think my life is fucked up, I just take a look on yours and feel much better."

"You're not helping me." Michael whined. He knew only too well that Luke was not a person of help in situations like this one, yet he always hoped for change.

"All I can tell you is to go find somebody to fuck." Luke licked his teeth, hanging his arm over Michael's shoulders. "Your penis will go crazy, dude."

"Luke, please, please shut up." he put Luke's arm away and stepped back from him.

"I'm serious, bro." Luke furrowed his eyebrows. "When was the last time you have had sex?"

Michael seriously thought about Luke's question, getting honestly concerned when he realized he only had sex once in his life. "Holy shit!" he shouted, walking back into the corner of the kitchen. "I only had sex back in junior year." he leaned back against the wall, each hand on the sides of his head.

"See, you got to change that." Luke said simply, turning to the sink again. Michael would have free soon so he'd have to do the washing himself. "I've heard Vanessa from your senior year tried herself as a professional prostitute."

"What? No, that's disgusting." Michael argued, walking at the sink as well and continuing where he'd stopped.

"Then convince Sam to fuck you." Luke shrugged. "I mean, I'd do it but I'm sadly not gay." he pulled a lollipop from his apron and opened it, shoving it into his mouth.

"I'm not gay, either." Michael stated, looking at the lollipop like hypnotised.

"Molly says you watch gay porn." Luke mocked, looking like a six foot tall baby.

"It - I accidentaly opened that one!" he stuttered, shouting. "I wanted to open the lesbian one."

"Are you for or against yourself in this arguement?" Luke pressed his hands back against the sink, forgetting about work for a while.

"What am I supposed to do?" Michael hid his face in his hands desperately. "No one will ever want to have sex with me."

"Oh yeah, you have that monster dick." Luke sighed, only remembering this now. "No normal girl would let you stick eleven inches inside of her."