Unbreakable Love

Chapter 2

Brianna's POV

I was with Isaac in a miny van with our tour guide and a couple of other people. I was too impressed by the beauty of the scenery to pay attention to the tour guide. We were only taking half the trip up the mountain by car than the rest we would hike. I had always heard that this mountain was beautiful. I vaguely heard the tour guide mention the name but I already knew the name. Dolomite was a very gorgeous mountain like none I had ever seen. I was happy we did this the day before we left because it would be the best memories to have when we would think about it. Tomorrow we were going to Greece.

I was very obsessed with Greek mythology and I really couldn't wait to go to the beaches museums and so many other places taking picture of so many things. I had always wanted to go. It had been my dream to do it one day and I was so close for it to happen.

I heard the tour guide say something and we came to a sharp stop. If it weren't for Isaac's strong arms around me I would have hit the seat in front of me.

Me and Isaac were posing as newly weds because that tour package cost a lot more if we weren't. We had been pretending for 3 weeks now so it wouldn't be much different today. We would just occasionally kiss but we always had our hands locked to make it even more credible. so I guess I had to thank the stupid pretending for me not getting yet another blow to my head.

We walked out to see the Beautiful view. I looked at the vast forest and you could see in the distance a lake with sparkling blue water. It was like one of those mountains in movies. It was a very gorgeous view that I was so happy I could see now. I regret not pushing my mom into letting me come that one summer my friends planned a trip here. The truth is it wouldn't have helped anyway. My mom doesn't like the fact of me leaving because then she has no one to do stuff with her. She basically tried to keep me at home when ever I would say I wanted to go to London for collage.

I just couldn't stay. I couldn't stay and live a lie. Every time I looked at my mom in the eye and said I cared it was all a lie. She was already completely disappointed with me I didn't need to tell her that her daughter that didn't care if she got walked on actually cared. I couldn't look at her in the eye and tell her that the only reason I didn't care if my room was clean or not was because I no longer even cared if I woke up alive tomorrow or not. I just couldn't see her eyes while she figured out that her little girl that had always just gone with the flow and acted like she never cared about anything was screaming inside. I couldn't look her in the face and tell her I need pills to calm my urge to just grab a kitchen knife lock myself in my room and smile as I slowly feel the life actually leaving me. Believe me sometimes I had the urge to scream it to the world when I was really frustrated....I was always just too afraid of seeing everyone's eyes on me like I was ticking bomb that was about to explode.

-FLASHBACK-

I was in my room like always trying to get away listening to loud music and writing lots and lots of writing. I desperately needed to get away after hours of school and pretending I was normal while desperately screaming for help inside. My mom was nagging me about yet another thing, but I wasn't paying attention. I felt high....No not that high. Like the high you get when you feel you can do anything. I feel this way every once and a while. I also feel indescribably numb. I don't cry once when I have these episodes.

I looked up from my laptop to look at my mom as she said for about the millionth time in this year "Do you even care?" Everything in me screamed to yell "No! No I don't care! I don't even want to live! That girl that you thought was innocent and all put together she hasn't existed for years!I have been living with depression since dad died!" But I just slightly looked at her and mumbled "I'll clean it."

She walked out of my room and I stood up to close the door and just sit next to my laptop and started to write again. I felt so numb that the pain I should be feeling from the fight I had had with John just a couple of hours ago wasn't there. He and I fought over stupid things but we both fought so passionately that I never knew what to think of it. It always seemed like it was over but then the next day he and I would be okay again. Truth be told it was always because of my stupid insecurities and I was thinking I should call him and say sorry but my stupid pride held me back from admitting I was wrong.

My mom yelled from the living room "Are you cleaning your room?"so sighed and got out of my stream of thoughts and yet again wanted to scream "No mom because cleaning comes last in my list when I'm debating wether or not I should kill myself tonight." Instead I screamed "Yes mom." This time I actually stood up and cleaned up the small mess on the foot of my bed. But this time I didn't so quickly let go of the thought of telling my mom. I didn't want to take the stupid happy pill nor did I want to go to the stupid psychiatrist to talk about my "feelings" I don't want to talk about how many times I wanted to just kill myself and see the blood seeping out of my arm. I don't want to talk about those days when I really don't have a reason to cry but I just can't hold it together anymore and I just break down crying myself to sleep or sobbing loudly when no one's home. I don't want to talk about that empty pit I only feel when I am crying but I always know it's there mocking me and making me feel so alone. But for some reason I wanted to go up to her and yell it to her face but I still didn't I just sat back in my bed and continued to write. I hated my life as it is I didn't need to hate it more.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes as I slowly walked next to Isaac hiking up the mountain. I turned to him and our eyes made contact. He could see my eyes watering and he knew I needed a way to cover it up. So he just leaned in to kiss me. It was one of the gentle kisses sweet and a little passionate but mostly sweet. I played along and put my arms around his neck. He was giving me the perfect time to let my tears fall because all the people we have in the tour group get really annoyed by our lovely dovey crap because there mostly divorced women looking for something to do with there time. When we were both sure they were way ahead of us we let go and cleared the remaining tears on my cheek. I looked at him with a questioning face to ask if any of my makeup had smeared or my eyes were still watering. He simply shook his head to indicate no. This was going to be a long hike...