Chapter 31

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Sabrina McLain: 

Today, I woke up. 

And I knew it was different. 

Something was different today. 

Mom, Baylee, and I ate 

a silent breakfast. 

We all took silent showers. 

We got dressed and bundled up. 

Silently. 

And together we went outside. 

The sky was the same color

as the feathers of a dove. 

It made me sad. 

As we walked along the street, 

none of us talking, 

tears started to fall. 

And once they started, 

they didn't stop. 

I didn't really know why I was crying. 

But I was. 

Mom fit her hand in mine. 

On my other side, 

Baylee interlocked her fingers with mine. 

When I looked at them, 

they were both crying too. 

The three McLain women 

walked down an icy street to the 

Exxon station. 

I remembered getting 

a razor here 

and using it to cut myself. 

I thought of the raised scars

on my arms. 

I started to cry even harder. 

Once we got to the Exxon station, 

Mom looked in the window. 

And then she turned us around

and we walked to the florist shop. 

And there, Mom bought us 

three red tulips

and a little box 

of marigolds still in dirt. 

And then we left. 

And we kept walking. 

And on our way, 

as we were crying, 

we stopped at 

another gas station, not an Exxon. 

And Mom bought a 

butterscotch Krimpet

and 

a package of 

strawberry jelly beans

and 

the weird expensive 

chocolate covered coffee beans. 

We continued on our way. 

It was hard to see

through the tears. 

My feet were cold. 

The three of us finally arrived at 

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