Dissipate: Book Two

Chapter 27

Sabrina McLain: 

"You're catching up, Sabrina. 

I think after our next remediation, 

you can go back to simply 

English." 

Mr. Short informed me 

today after the class left. 

I nodded, feeling proud. 

It's been awhile since I've felt proud. 

I started out the door of the classroom, 

heading towards algebra, 

when I felt someone come up beside me. 

I turned. 

There was Kyle. 

Blood rushed to my head. 

I wanted to get up on my tiptoes and 

kiss him. 

But then deep down, 

settled in the bottom of my stomach

like a sour candy jawbreaker, 

was a knowledge that Kyle preferred 

Fiona Shaw. 

A nasty voice in my head spoke, 

Why wouldn't he like her? 

She's pretty and she's popular. 

And her family is still alive. 

She isn't broken, not like you. 

She is happy, not like you. 

I tried desperately to silence the voice, 

but it didn't work. 

I was green with envy. 

I was blue with sadness. 

"Hey Brina." he said. 

I wanted to touch him so badly, 

just reach my hand out, 

and grab his own. 

But I didn't. 

I didn't want to be the clingy girl. 

He took me to a dance. 

He kissed me. 

That was it. 

He was being nice and maybe a little flirtatious

and I took that as 

a declaration of love. 

I should have known better. 

I thought back to Dad. 

He'd loved Mom. 

He really had. 

But his longing for Jennah 

had pushed Mom aside. 

And rather than be 

a clingy wife, 

Mom had moved on. 

I smiled thinly at Kyle and  

scanned the crowd in hopes that

some boy would stand out, 

so I could move on. 

But no one could compare 

to Kyle. 

He was amazing. 

I loved him. 

Even though he didn't love me. 

"Look, Kyle. 

Now isn't a good time to talk. 

When I'm ready, I'll come get you." 

I said, 

trying to keep my voice from wobbling, 

trying to keep my tears from 

f

a

l

l

i

n

g

It worked. 

He looked a tiny bit hopeful

and a little relieved. 

I shuffled past him into Algebra

and through the entire class, 

I felt his eyes, 

from across the room, 

fixed on me. 

I felt good at that, 

and a little embarrassed too. 

The nasty voice inside my head sneered. 

You still aren't as pretty as Fiona. 

I told it to shut up. 

And with the heat of Kyle's eyes on 

the back of my head, 

the nasty little voice actually 

obeyed.