A Song and a Book (Namjoon Soulmate Fanfic)

A spark of hurt : Namjoon

30th Febuary 2019
America.

It smelled of rain and smoke when his heart had broke, tinted in ink was maybe the right description of his vision that night.

He loved the rain, and it comforts him in his silent scream of hurt.

Jaqueline, or maybe he used to call her Jue. She wasn't the most beautiful woman he ever met, she wasn't the kindest woman either, and she wasn't the most caring.

But she was enough for him, or at least that's what his mind convinced him to think.

Namjoon had been lonely, not lonely in terms of friends or relationships, but he was lonely in a sense of belonging.

He had found a job he loves, found a family he holds dear, found a career and never lacks money either.

But his mentality was ripping apart, he had to go to therapy mire often than the rest, more intense than the rest and it was painful.

His soulbound deficiency had caused him to waste away.

He thought it was over when he met Jaqueline James.

She was a bold woman full of energy and strength, maybe too bold he had secretly thought. But she was his soulmate, and he had been glad for some time that hope was filling his emptiness and suppressed his mental state from collapsing.

But then his soulbound deficiency never healed, even when he touched her hand, even when he kissed her lips, even when they had been together all the time, his soul was still incomplete.

He had thought that maybe something was wrong with him, maybe he was he one that is weird, he had distanced himself from bangtan because of his worries and doubts.

Because of her.

But then again, jungkook had warned him about her, he should check first, use the machine, because Namjoon's heart never fluttered when he met Jue.

His heart never showed anything, he never thought that Jue was his.

And he was right.

But it tore him apart knowing that he had "loved" Someone other than his soulmate, it tore him apart that his real soulmate had to watch the news that he had met someone other than them.

It had broke him so much that he had to be build piece by piece once again by the people around him.

Especially Bangtan, his smile never had a sincere glaze in them. His words never seems like it came from him, his lyrics never resonate the same way after that and it had burdened his mind.

Too many parts of him had broke.

It was until Jungkook met his soulmate that Namjoon was able to be a bit happier, seeing them together had made his heart beat again, seeing their happiness had build his trust again, and seeing Jungkook so happy had made his heart filled again.

But the hole in his heart was still there.

Untill a book that has no ending ended up on his lap.

Namjoon found his escape from hurt.

.
.
.
.

Yo, author here. This chapter is a little back story of how Namjoon had his heart broken, sorry if this is confusing.

Btw just so you know, i write on impulse.
I Never edit my work, never proofread it, and yea i think of the story when I'm writing so i apologize for the lacking story line and plot.

And i upload after finishing a chapter, i don't have drafts lmao 🤣 i know its not a good thing for a writer but that's just how i write.