Our Scars

Hymn #101

26

Hymn #101 (Title by The Ballroom Thieves)

On Wednesday Rianne hurried to get back to the hospital and to Jay, cursing herself for her time management.

Her morning to-do's had taken longer than she originally established and now she was a little late for rounds at Med. She had wanted to hear herself if Jay would be out of there soon or if there were further complications.

While Jay had been feeling better every day in general and his injuries were healing, he had spiked a little fever Monday night. It had gone down pretty quickly in the morning, but nonetheless especially Will and her had been worried. Sometimes she still was not able to believe that they had gotten so lucky, so everything seemed pretty fragile. Every time she heard him talk and saw him look at her with those soulful eyes it felt a little unreal after the state she had seen him in when he was rolled into the hospital just five days ago.

Jay and her had yet to figure out a lot for themselves and between them in the aftermath. For the time being though Rianne at least was contend to just sit and lie with him, keep him company and not give him any more grief about what happened and he seemed to feel the same. Besides of course wanting to get out of Med a.s.a.p. because he was convinced that nothing good ever happened in hospitals and any argument about that with him was pointless.

Yesterday evening she'd gone home for the first time, feeling like she needed to take care of some things, finally take a real shower and change into some other outfit to make her feel more like herself again.

Rianne had spoken to her boss today and applied for more days of personal leave. Apart from wanting to take care of Jay and be there for him, make good on her intend to not walk away from this, she thought she should probably take Dr. Charles' advise and use the time to rest up herself, get her head cleared and not just carry on as if nothing had happened. It was the first time she had ever really asked for that: take time off work besides vacation days.

After her and Andrea's accident she'd been back on the job as soon as she could get out of bed again and was cleared by her superiors.

She had always just cried and suffered in silence after-hours and in the administered therapy-sessions.

Feeling actually pretty good about this new approach and herself, her mood was a bit dampened by the scene she witnessed when she finally got to Chicago Med:

Jay was out of bed and fully dressed, his partner Hailey in the room with him.

Right when Rianne walked in she was helping him put on his thick black sweater-jacket, arranging it neatly and carefully around his left shoulder. Rianne knew he couldn't really do it himself, because he was handicapped with the sling they had to put his arm in. Until further instructions from the medics he had to take the pressure off his shoulder with it.

But why did Hailey have to be the one to do it?

In general it had been really touching to see how well liked among his colleagues Jay was. There had been a constant flow of visitors and people sending him messages and asking about him. His unit had been there everyday, so of course had Hailey.

But how she was helping Jay now didn't sit right with Rianne. Something about the way she looked at him while she did it was a little too intimate for Rianne's taste. At the same time she was taken aback by that unknown feeling of jealousy. Until now this had always been no concern to her, not ever, although Andrea surly had had a way of being flirtatious with everyone from time to time. Rianne had never really asked herself why she hadn't felt that burning notion in her stomach until now. She didn't like it at all, especially since she actually couldn't say a bad thing about the blonde detective.