Our Scars

Diferentemente Iguales

54

Diferentemente iguales (Title by Bebe)

"I'm so sorry, but I just can't seem to stop writing...," Rianne said, slipping from his lap and over to her own seat suddenly, pulling out her pen and journal.

"Can I see?" Jay asked after a while, as usual pretty curious what she was thinking and writing about.

"It's really just little dabbles, unconnected words that maybe could be new lyrics, I don't know yet..."

She handed him her note-book, covered with wine and coffee stains, a little worn because she had stuffed it in just any bag for the last two weeks to always have it by her side in case she needed to write something down. Somehow Rianne said she had been blessed with a creative overflow. It amazed Jay how she was able to induce images in his head, feelings even, with just the pure words she used and played with, putting everything she felt and thought about in syllables that were extremely powerful, inventive and quaint. To be let in on those hidden treasures of her mind honored him.

Next to some abstract flowery doodles there were new verses that got him choked up by just reading them:

"I'm still healing, not yet connected again with all those loose parts of me. I need to know that I can trust myself. Even though sometimes I still feel stuck and keep on reliving my pain."

"...and their kisses felt like heaven. With the sweetness and innocence of teenage-love, yet like some grown-up jigsaw puzzle finally solved..."

"They say only fools have hope. But I'd like to be one of those. Cause those that have hope can escape all the dark shadows. I like to wear my heart on my sleeve, never afraid of tomorrow. Even though only fools have hope, I wanna be full of light and try."

"That's just fucking beautiful!" He handed the little red book back to her and ran his fingers through her hair, loving the slight blush that spread over her sun-kissed cheeks.

"Seems that you inspire me," Rianne winked at him and quickly pressed a kiss to the insides of his underarm, before taking up scribbling something down again, the gemstone on her right ring finger sparkling in the early morning light slowly sneaking its way through the clouds outside.

Jay swallowed hard, as usual when he felt himself touched by her love for him.

He doubted that he was an inspiration to her all the time, seeing how distracted and nervous he had been in the beginning. Jay thought back to the first meeting with her family and how he had been pretty overwhelmed by those first impressions:

Jay had woken up with a jolt, struggling for a while to remember where he was. The place beside him was empty and cold, his phone telling him that it was past nine on the 24th of December, the morning of Christmas Eve. He wondered about the last time he had taken that into account so acutely.

It was still strange to look at his phone and come up empty concerning news on the work-front. No missed calls, no one wanting him to come in or keeping him in the loop, nothing to distract his brain from wandering off into possibly dangerous territory, no mysteries to solve other than this new family matter.

There were just some Christmas greetings and 'happy travels' in his texts. Jay somehow felt left out and guilty at the same time when he sent Hailey a one-liner asking how their case had turned out and 'what about Vanessa?' He swore to himself this would be the last time he reached out to Chicago unless it concerned totally private-business.

Him and Rianne had called it an early night yesterday as tiredness from their journey had set in. They had both been drained by the heavy emotions that had accompanied them and Jay had felt a little headachy due to the extreme climate change. As Rianne claimed it would be okay to not wait for her father, they hadn't seen him and his wife return yesterday night. Despite his overall exhaustion it had been difficult for Jay to find rest, tossing and turning, too hot at first, then too cold due to the AC. His headache and shoulder cramps were keeping him up, the awkward feeling of lying in a bed in the house of a man he hadn't even met yet, somehow adding to his tension as well.