Our Scars

Island

22

Island (Chapter Title by Kensington)

"Jay, I really want to stay out of your business, but at this point I can't! This is a crazy thing you're doing. There is a rule such as not to take work home with you for a reason! You're taking it home with you! You're getting personally involved in a matter you should put to rest. For your own sake. Did you talk to anyone in your unit about this?"

"I said I am handling it!"

The more Rianne talked and clearly voiced her opinion the more Jay shut down and said close to nothing, getting her even more on a roll. She could tell he was annoyed with her and didn't want to listen, but she couldn't let it go. Rianne was shocked when he had finally, after five endless minutes of sickening silence in the car, then another five of arguing with her why she was reading his messages in the first place, admitted who Angela and Bobby really were, since when he had been taking care of them and for what reason.

Jay was trying to make it sound like it was no big deal, but all of Rianne's alarm-bells were ringing like mad.

How could he be so naive and overly invested? He shouldn't be pretending to be someone he was not and get involved in the life of a family that wasn't his to care about. Not in that way! It was like he had put blinders on.

Ignoring that he was also going way over the speed-limit at the moment, probably to get out of this conversation as fast as he could, she kept the pressure on:

"Are you though? What if she finds out who you really are and why you're helping her? You can kiss your career good-bye, that's a law suit waiting to happen and I could think of a few other unpleasant scenarios that could very well become reality. I don't wanna even go into details, because I think you know yourself that this is unbelievably unprofessional!"

Hadn't he been the one throwing around accusations in the past about how she should do her job more accurately?

"I am just helping them out! They got screwed by the system. And I am responsible for a very big part of that."

She saw that Jay's mouth got thinner and thinner, his lips just a white line, a sure sign that he was pissed off too now. She knew that look from former work-fights. He was close to flying off the handle and yelling at her.

They had arrived at the airport in the meantime, Jay pulling into the "kiss and fly" zone, turning off the car and not looking at her. Rianne wasn't finished:

"Maybe, but you're just a tiny piece of this puzzle, you can't right every wrong! By the way I can't imagine you're really feeling any better by sneaking around paying off a debt that isn't yours to pay! So stop getting in deeper than you already are and end this! Does Voight know, or Hailey?"

"I can handle this myself, I have been doing this before...I don't need you to tell me this," he growled under his breath, barely containing his underlying rage.

Silence hit!

Jay's whole frame a hard wall she could throw herself at again and again, she wouldn't get through. It felt like being hit in the gut full force by that realization. Even though he hadn't said it:

'I have been doing this before' meant: without you! I don't need you! Stay out of my life!

Rianne had not been expecting to be faced with this cold and impervious side of him.

Blinking away the hot tears of hurt and rage that were threatening behind her eyes she bundled her sarcasm for one last statement:

"Fantastic! I am sorry for butting in and giving a rat's ass about you. Please suit yourself! I thought being 'in this with you for real' meant that I get a say if I think you're about to harm yourself. Guess I was wrong. Didn't know you were such a stubborn prick without any sense of self-preservation!"