Our Scars

You Do Something To Me

27

You do something to me (Title by Skunk Anansie)

Rianne studied herself in her bathroom mirror over the big white porcelain basin. Wet hair snaking down over her shoulders, droplets of water running over her naked breasts. Her face was clean, scrubbed of any make-up, her eyes focused on her reflection, clear blue pupils looking back at her seriously. This was her, right now, 32, a widow, almost a mother, only child, wild child, a mixture of passion and prudence, dreamer, working-bee, a lover, friend, standing on the ledge of a new beginning.

At least it felt like one to her.

She took in the empty space around her neck and over her sternum where there once had been a constant companion for several years until two days ago.

It had felt strange not wearing it, but also okay, she hadn't freaked out about it. So it was the right time.

Taking a deep breath she reached for the small black jewelry box on the shelf next to the mirror, taking out a shiny new piece of gold combined with gemstone. It weighed next to nothing, but it held so much meaning for her, it should have weighed a ton.

Rianne cautiously put it on, running her fingers over the cold metal of the necklace and the small tear-shaped emerald pendant. It looked completely different, but delicate and beautiful. Closing her eyes for a moment she let her breath run through her whole body.

When she opened her eyes again they met Jay's gaze in the mirror. She wasn't startled and didn't flinch. Somehow she had already sensed his presence in the room. Rianne wasn't ashamed of her nudity: there was nothing to see he hadn't seen and touched already numerous times by now. Not saying anything and not moving either, he seemed to see this as an invitation to come up behind her, their eyes keeping the contact in the mirror-pane.

"Did Voight leave already?" she asked when Jay had almost caught up to her.

It had been strange to have the feared leader of Intelligence at her home to pay Jay a visit. In those private quarters he hadn't been quite as intimidating as Rianne sometimes saw him act on the job. He had even smiled at her and patted her shoulder when she'd let him in, grunting something like:

"Good on you to keep an eye on him kid!"

Assured that someone was with Jay for a while she had excused herself to take a bath, not wanting to disturb the two men, if they had to talk about confidential stuff.

"Yep, all cleared up," Jay kissed her naked shoulder several times, putting his arm around her waist from behind.

"Did you have to strip down for him?"

Rianne cracked a little smile, because Jay was just in his tight boxer briefs and had taken off the sling around his arm. The thick bandage on his shoulder was a little crumpled.

"No," he chuckled in her ear and his fingers drew soft circles over her belly that made her skin pebble and caused a tingling sensation in her lower abdomen.

Right, there was that burning sensation between them again. Since being home their physical interactions with each other had been rather PG13 up until now.

"That sling is killing my neck after wearing it all day. I was actually getting ready for bed. Could you help me change that dressing?"

"Yeah, sure!" she nodded.

Getting the antiseptic dressings they had been given by the hospital yesterday, Rianne tried to carefully peel off the bandage that was covering Jay's wound, keeping her eyes to the task on purpose. She didn't want to embarrass him by observing his every reaction to pain or discomfort. He stood perfectly still and just let her handle it, trusting her with this. When there were no more layers left, and she had cleaned the skin around his wound, she found herself staring at the clearly noticeable dark round hole just under his left collarbone. She felt her heartbeat increasing and her hand beginning to shake slightly, wondering what it must have felt like to be hit that way by a metal object, aimed at him on purpose, supposed to kill him. How much it must have hurt, how much it still did hurt?