Applause [Kitty Wilde Glee]

XI

They want to do a calendar to raise money for the glee club...I can't do this, I have freaking scars on my chest! How does anyone think this is a good idea.
"What's wrong?" Kittt frowns.
"Nothing." I poke at my food. "I'm gonna go for a smoke." I stand up slowly.
"There's something wrong." She follows behind me.
"Nope." I walk faster.
She doesn't stop even when we reach the car. I light up and try to distract myself.
"Tucker." She stands in front of me, hands on her hips.
"Kitty." I mock her tone.
"Tell me what's going on."
"You really think me posing for this stupid calendar is a good idea?"
"Why not?" She tilts her head slightly.
"You've seen my chest." I sigh. "No one wants that."
"I want it, and I would love to show off my boyfriend." She steps into my space.
"Not everyone is as cool with this as you are." I take a long drag. "People are going to laugh at me."
"And if they do, they have to deal with me." She puts her hands on my chest. "I think you're sexy."
"You're biased."
"Maybe, but who else has seen you shirtless?"
"No one." I shrug. "I hid in the bathroom for gym class in my last school...and here."
"So, I can't be completely biased if I'm the only person to see it right?"
I pause, that's...a good point.
"I guess not."
"Does that mean you'll do it?"
"I'll give it a shot."
Kitty reaches up on her tip toes and gives me a quick kiss.
"Finish smoking and I'll talk to Tina."

I can't believe I agreed to this thing, what am I thinking? I'm not like the others here, I'm not cis. I wasn't born with the right tools, hell my junk is literally silicone that just looks like a bulge that cost $350 so I can use it in bathrooms. I can't do this, this is terrifying. The guys are all so confident, they've all whipped their shirts off minus Artie who also doesn't want to take his clothes off, but the others are loving the camera...especially Sam. I can feel the bile I'm my throat rising, I keep gulping it down with Red Bull. I can feel my skeleton shaking with the amount of caffeine in my system right now.
"Tucker, you're up." Tina looks at me. "Why haven't yoy changed?"
"I'll go change." I quickly rush off to calm myself down.
"You can do this."
I look behind me and shake my head.
"I look awful."
"No you don't." My girlfriend frowns. "You haven't even changed."
"I'm terrified." I whisper. "This is terrifying."
"Whats so scary about this?"
"You don't get it." I close my eyes, leaning my head back.
"Then help me understand." Her voice is low and soft.
"All of them, Jake, Ryder, Sam, Blaine, Joseph, Artie...they are all men."
"You are a man."
"I know I am, I'm just not a man like they are." I open my eyes slowly. "They don't have surgery scars from having a chest, or have to wear a packer."
"So?" She holds up the first outfit. "That's not the only thing that makes a man, you know that. You belong on this calendar as much as they do, you are so sweet and loving."
I look down at her, just letting myself get lost in those beautiful eyes of hers.
"You can do this, I'll be there the whole time."
I nod, taking the outfit before she leaves to let me get ready. I take a deep breath and walk out.

I sit at the table with the guys, watching girls flick through the pages of the calendars. My nerves are worse than the photoshoot.
"Well, guess I was a dumbass." I look up at Bree.
"Are you gonna post these around school too?"
"Actually, I want you to sign it before the others start coming."
"Others?" I look over her shoulder.
"Told you, I'm a dumbass...but if you get sick of blondie, I'm here."
I quickly sign the calendar and let her go, I know she's doing this to get under Kitty's skin.
"You are amazing." Some girl rambles quickly. "I think you're awesome and I loved your months."
"Thanks."
"Just remember, he's mine." Kitty glares.
The girl huffs and storms off, I look at my girlfriend who just smiles and hands me the pictures of myself.
"How did you get these?" I chuckle.
"Tina kindly gave them to me." She shrugs. "So, you gonna sign it?"
"Why?"
"So I can show off my boyfriend in my locker and in my bedroom."
I roll my eyes playfully, signing both pictures.

"I'm so proud of you." Kitty hugs me tightly.
"Couldn't have done it without you." I hold her close to me.
"You did great, but I better not have to fight girls off."
"Trust me, you won't." I kiss her cheek softly. "I'm all yours."