My Ddeonu | SunSun

Twenty-One | Abstract and Breath-taking

Chapter Twenty-one

It had been 3 days since Sunoo has confessed his feeling for Sunghoon, 2 days since Sunghoon had left home and one day since he had been discharged.

A warm light ring throughout the bleak place of Sunghoon's home, clinging on tightly to his legs which he drew closer to his chest. He let his hands wander over to pet Autumn's fur, ruffling the soft fibber of the bunny's grey coat.

"Whatever happened to her anyway?" He chuckles as Autumn nuzzles her snout on his arm. It was nice just talking and enjoying the bland moments in life that seems so perfect at that moment. Sunghoon thought of it like old times when it was just him and Autumn along with their deep conversations that really did impact his day (and maybe even his life.)

The cloudless sky spread its white and golden hues across the surface of his bed, his fingers being filtered with an almost angelic tint. He smiled at the magical glow radiating a plethora of different colours yet flowing so perfectly together – only if the internal word could be filtered in an angelic tint but that was basically building a world upon lies.

He let out a brittle sigh that clashed against his teeth, pressing his fingers hard at the side of his hips. Sunghoon's dry cough seemed to make Autumn shudder and hideaway in the depths of Sunghoon's loving touches. He really didn't know it was sick or not. Sunghoon was trying everything to avoid Sunoo for the time being because he didn't know how to respond – and for the most part he didn't want to respond.

Yes, Sunghoon knew that the blushing and the butterflies were all phases of crushing, but he was still unsure. He had always wondered what it would be like to kiss Sunoo, feel that euphoric bliss crash and merge so perfectly with the adrenaline like a beautiful melody. And maybe perhaps it was because their relationship reminded him oddly of a song, something abstract and breath-taking and mysterious with its many layers of sounds and hidden vocals.

However, he had this swirling pit growing larger and larger in his stomach that seemed to leave an empty feeling of to the song. Abruptly ending its strange yet enticing tunes with a harsh unfished note that seemed almost unfished as if the producer had given up on the piece and moved onto something more tangible something more worth completing.

"Huh?" Autumn tucked her head underneath Sunghoon's elbow and rested gently on the edge of his thigh. He stroked his pet cautiously and let time slow down with each caress to retain his feeling to understand what he wanted. But that wasn't really the problem; it was did Sunoo really want to listen to the end?

"Sunghoon!" Rapidly blinking his eyes, Sunghoon was suddenly pulled out of this abstract music number in his head, "Come downstairs!"

"Coming!" He yells back before clearing his hoarse throat once again and placing Autumn on a large square pillow which Sunoo named the Ddeonghoon pillow, it made Sunghoon blush, but he had other things to deal with.

"Why did you call me?" Sunghoon mutters breathlessly, afraid at the short whizzes that intertwine with each shaky breath he drew.

Pressing a hand on Sunghoon's forehead, "I think you'll be okay," Mrs Park said more to herself than Sunghoon who was staring at her with confusion. She set down his breakfast and pulled out a chair as if she were gesturing for her son to come to sit.

"What do you mean?" Taking a seat, Sunghoon examining the stacked egg bread beside the tall glass of warm water (which he wasn't quite fond of.)

"The doctor says you should go outside more often as soon as your well enough," Sunghoon's mum took a seat beside Sunghoon and took a sip of her herbal tea, mixing the hot tea with a spoon.

And as if Sunghoon was struck by lightning, he begins choking on his water, "I'm dying here and you're going to send me outside?" He clutches onto his chest realising the cause of his action and regret kicks in a little too late. Sunghoon finally squeezes his eyes shut and realise the fabric of his black shirt, the image on his shirt slowly crumpling back into place.

"Sunghoon, do you think I'm that stupid?" She chuckles as she tousles Sunghoon's blonde strands of hair out of his face. Placing two pills on the table beside Sunghoon's water and lightly tapping on Sunghoon's fingers, "Drink up," She states before getting her stuff together for work.

"So, you're just going to leave me?" Sunghoon replied with a weary tone that seemed to catch his mother's attention. His eyes were shaking slowly even though he was just pretending, he just wanted to isolate again with Autumn just like he'd planned out before Autumn ran off to Sunoo. It seemed much easier than trying.

"Course not, Hoonie." Flashing Sunghoon a warm smile before hooking her bag to her shoulder, "I asked Sunoo's mum if Sunoo could walk with you on his way to school, you can call your aunt if you feel too unwell or scared to go home and take these pills with you." She places a pack of unopened pills in Sunghoon's hand.

"No, it's fine I can walk by myself!" He quickly snaps before his mother looks away. Sunghoon shyly hangs his head low and rubs his wrist with his sweaty palm, looking away at the corner of the room at the sudden change of demeanour from his mum.

Taking a seat beside Sunghoon on the sofa behind the large open plan windows, "What's wrong, Sunghoon?" Mrs Park softens her tone at Sunghoon's closed off behaviour.

"If you were dying," Sunghoon begins as he rubs his nape awkwardly, "would you be willing to start something new?" he cranes his head to face his mother, an indistinguishable expression plastered on her face.

"What do you mean?" She moves closer to the windows, more of the golden filter painting her features in the white hues of the morning blue skies.

"Uhm..." Tapping his fingers against the sofa, Sunghoon bites his lip unable to answer the question, "like let's say you wanted to start growing a garden and that takes ages to grow yet you wanted to see it win the competition and thrive for years because you wanted the flowers to be happy and all who inhabited it – even the people who just admired it,"

Sunghoon's mum picked at a loose scab on her thumb, "Well, if you wanted to grow a garden that's very humble of you," she gives him a slight grin, "But in all honesty, I would go for it – that gardens legacy would live on and might be able to achieve more than you know and when you realise in your last moments that you could have grown something important to you it's too late." The words echo around Sunghoon's head but don't seem to fall into the abyss of untethered emotions instead it sticks with him.

"Thanks... have a good day at work," Sunghoon waved goodbye to his mother with a shy smile that seemed to reach a point where it could reach his mothers' lips without question.

"You too, Hoonie," Unlocking the door, Sunghoon's mum slams the door shut on her way out and leaves Sunghoon in charge of his own leave.