Harry and I haven't spoken since Saturday, which was four days ago. It's all my fault, and I know it. I was extremely rude. What I said was completely uncalled for. Harry didn't deserve the way I just threw him under the bus. I let those words slip out because I was afraid. I heard the things they called Harry, and I saw the way he would cringe at the words. I saw the way he pretended like it didn't bother him, but underneath that beautiful smile, it hurt.
On Thursday, I finally decided I was going to apologise to Harry. I had been working on what I was going to say to him for days. I wanted to word it right. I wanted to give him a speech that would make him forgive my ignorant actions.
I dressed myself nicely that day, just for him. I wore a white and green plain button up shirt, a pair of khaki pants, and some white converse that I borrowed from Liam. I sprayed myself with some cologne that Liam recently bought from American Eagle. It smelled really good.
I was too nervous to eat breakfast that morning, so when I went downstairs, I just sat in the living room and watched the morning news, waiting for Liam and dad to finish eating.
When I got to school, I got even more nervous. I had planned that during lunch, I would ask Harry to skip school with me. I had never done that before. What if Harry and I got caught? What if he won't go with me? If Harry says no, I'm screwed. I wouldn't have time to apologise to him during class, and I didn't want to apologise in an overcrowded lunch room.
My palms were sweaty as I walked into homeroom. I sat in my usual seat, but Bree wasn't there. I waited, hoping she could give me a little pep talk before my nerve-racking day started, but nope. She never showed up.
I went to first period and Harry and Louis were both already there. Harry apparently hadn't told anyone about what happened Saturday because Louis still talked to me with his overly cheery attitude.
As the bell rang for us to head to second period, I stopped Harry before he could walk out. I took a deep breath, honestly afraid to even speak to him.
"During our lunch break, meet me at your locker," I told him. "If you don't... then I'll understand that you hate me." And with that, I walked to my second period.
I couldn't focus on maths at all. My hands were sweating furiously, making my grip on the pencil loosen constantly. My heart was racing as I watched the clock tick closer and closer to the time that I was to hopefully be meeting Harry.
Once the bell rang, my chest tightened, and I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder then headed out into the hallway. I slowly walked toward the direction of Harry's locker, searching around for him. Once I got there, I figured Harry wasn't going to show up. I sat down and pushed my back against the locker underneath his and put my head in my hands. I let out an annoying groan, rubbing my fingers against my eyebrows.
After a few minutes, I was ready to get up and spent the rest of my day in the bathroom crying, but as soon as I looked up, I saw Harry standing there with his arm out to me. I smiled softly and grabbed his hand, allowing him to help me up. I kept ahold of his hand as I pulled him out of the school building and down the street to the park that we all had gone to together that one day after school.
We sat down together on a bench, and I let out a long sigh. I was nervous, but I was ready to speak to him and let him know that I was sorry for being a complete dickhead.
"Harry," I finally said, looking over at him. He looked up from the ground and over at me. I locked my eyes on his as I worked up the courage to continue.
"I'm so sorry, mate," I said, moving my hand so that it was resting on his shoulder. "What I said was really fucking stupid. I just... I got scared, you know? I was afraid to be bullied the way you are. I know it hurts you, and I just didn't want to receive the same hurt you constantly felt. It was dumb of me, though. I would much rather be called a fag than lose you as a friend. Honestly... I'm really glad you kissed me Saturday. It was a pretty great thing. You just make me so damn happy, Harry. The way I treated you after all that happened, though, that was really ignorant of me. I just want to punch myself for what I did. God, I'm so fucking stupid!" I put my head in my hands again and dug my nails into the skin of my forehead. I was just so angry at myself.
"Niall," Harry finally said, grabbing my wrist and pulling lightly on my arm. I looked back over at him and saw him giving me a shy smile.
"I'm glad you apologised," he told me. "I shouldn't have kissed you in public. That was my bad. I should've waited and taken the chance sometime you were over at mine. I'm sorry too." I smiled at Harry and pulled him in for a hug.
"So you really liked the kiss?" He asked once we pulled away. I blushed and nodded.
"Could I uh..." Harry paused and shook his head. "Never mind."
"No, what?" Harry laced his fingers with mine and looked around at the empty park.
"Could I kiss you again?" I smiled and nodded my head. Harry leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on my lips then pulled away. I raised an eyebrow at him. I had expected more than what I had gotten.
"What was that?" I asked, laughing. "Give me a proper kiss you idiot." He laughed and nodded, then leaned in again. Harry and I were caught in a snog for a good three minutes before I pulled back to try and regain my breath. Harry was an amazing kisser, and I just couldn't get enough of him.
Harry and I talked for a while. I explained to him exactly how I felt about him, and he told me he felt the same. He told me he would feel honoured to date me. I was a bit hesitant. I had never been in a relationship before. I asked him if we could start off slow, and he agreed that he would, which made me really happy.
Harry asked me if he could take me out on a date Friday night. Even though I hadn't asked mum and dad, I quickly told him yes.
We talked some more about how we would act in public if we did start dating.
"I understand if you don't want to like hold hands and stuff," Harry told me. "I know you aren't entirely comfortable with your sexuality being flaunted about." I quickly shook my head, disagreeing with Harry.
"No, no, I'm totally fine with it!" I reassured. "I just freaked out on Saturday because it was the first time I had ever... you know uh... been intimate with a guy." Harry nodded his head.
"I'll gladly hug you and hold your hand and kiss you and...yeah," I told him, smiling widely.
"Are you sure?" I nodded and kissed his cheek.
"Positive."
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This is a really short chapter. Wow. I'm so sorry about that. I thought it would end up being longer as I continued typing, buuuuuut nope.
Yeah so Narry aren't official yet, clearly. The next chapter will include Narry's extremely cute date. (I suck at date chapters so fuck xD)
Today really fucking sucks. I was happy because it snowed and everything, but my friend was supposed to come over today, then she ignores me for three hours, then FINALLY texts me, and all she says is, "I got grounded." She won't message me anymore now so :/ And it's weird cause like she has literally NEVER been grounded before so like????
And now I don't know what to do. I wish I had more friends :(
Um this chapter is really fucking shitty I apologise. I'm just extremely sad but I wanted to get this updated so yeah. Me + Sad = Shit chapter.
Love you guys. I'll try to update again soon. Leave me some feedback. If I get poor feedback, I'll redo the chapter.
//Not Edited//
~Taylor :*
