When the daylight has faded

Customer choices (#grateful)

Marc stumbles over the massive parcel in the hallway, his elbow bumping against the wall.

"For fu..." he starts, but cuts himself off when he sees the writing on the box.

LAWNRoBoTICS is laughing at him in bright green letters.

His swearing turns into songs of praise.

"No more sweating my bum off, no more nagging wife, no more grass cuttings to deal with," he singsongs, dancing around the mower like Rumpelstiltskin around the fire.

"The stupid thing cost enough!" his wife grumbles.

"It was an amazing deal, Ester! Would usually cost you 1100 Euros; we got the robot for 800."

"I already had my robotic mower. Admittedly, it often malfunctioned. In the rare cases I managed to get it to work, it was terribly noisy – and very creative with the swear words."

Marc's robotic bliss prevails, despite the reminder of the myriad of arguments and the buckets of sweat he's lost over the flipping patch of green behind his house over the years.

He grins.

"You should be grateful. This mower is much more reliable than your old human one. As of tomorrow, you will never have to kick your old mower's bum again."

He picks up the parcel, but grunts, sure he's pulled a muscle in his back.

"Okay?" his wife asks.

"Peachy!"

He won't give her any ammunition against his new best buddy, but, man, the thing is heavy.

"So's the wife, and I love her, too!" he mumbles under his breath, grateful that wifey hadn't heard, too busy watching the parcel-versus-man wrestling match from the patio door, arms crossed.

Finally, the machine is released from the box into its natural habitat, feeling much lighter all of a sudden.

He turns to his wife with satisfaction.

"Alright. Set the monstrous piece of decoration up then!" Ester looks less than thrilled.

"Nearly done, love!"

He reaches into the box again and pulls out an instruction manual that would give a sack of cement a run for its money in size and weight.

His wife creases up with laughter.

"If you read every evening, your lawn buddy might be ready for summer 2023."

"It's just different languages!" Almost dislocating his shoulder, when waving his new bible into his wife's face, he realises that the entire manual is in English.

Unfazed, he drops the manual back in the box, turning to YouTube instead.

His smile fades.

Apparently, he'll have to buy a house for Lawny and wire for the garden perimeter, then try to install everything before October and tell the wife that it was still a bargain.

He places the machine next to the plug socket on the patio, but snatches it up immediately when Ester's screeching protestations shatter the garden's solar lights. It would seem that Ester disagrees with the robot's aesthetic appearance. She directs him to the far end of the garden.

Craptastic. Now, he'll have to dig up the whole garden to lay the cable for the docking station, too.

_____________________________________________________________________

Two weeks later

"Yes, you can have it for 650. I'll chuck in the wire and the garage for free. I have no idea what the wife was thinking when she gave me a robotic mower for my birthday. Cutting the grass is my hobby. Oh, please don't forget to leave five stars once the transaction is complete."