When the daylight has faded

The Cover of Darkness (#anticipation)

Neon lights are burning down on me. I squint into the glass in front of me. Unidentified liquid. Unidentified male next to me. Asymmetrical smile.

I take a sip, my throat burning.

"Want to go somewhere else?"

If only you knew.

I nod my head. The world around me spinning. I take another sip. Reality recedes. I start to smile.

He takes my hand.

I look at our hands, intertwined.

A laugh escapes. Slightly hysterical, slightly slurred.

I look up, straight into his eyes. They seem kind.

Sudden anticipation of redemption in my gut.

Rescue me.

A random thought. Ridiculous.

Don't think about it. Not now. Leave the cover of darkness on.

I turn to him. Offer an encouraging grin.

"There's a nice little club round the corner. Good music, great drinks," he suggests.

A club. Drinking and dancing all night. Losing myself. Hell yes!

I walk down the street, still holding his hand, my step light. A massive neon sign announces our arrival at the club, sending out cold rays of light into the night.

Inside, the air is warm and stuffy. Bodies gyrating. We go straight to the dance floor, join in the ritualistic body rubbing. The music grabs hold of my soul, encompasses my whole being. Once in a while, I find myself downing glassfuls of colourful fluids. I have no idea what they are or where they come from. I don't care, either.

The night passes in a blur. Too soon, the sun appears in the sky. Slowly, I peel open my eyes. Daylight blinds me.

Strange ceiling, strange bed, strange man.

Holy cow, and again!

I shake my head. The world around me spinning, but not in a good way.

Carefully, I study the man next to me. Wonder what his name is, who he is.

Who I am.

My stomach lurches. So do I. To the darkness of the bathroom. My body's way of getting rid of the vestiges of last night. Finally, I turn on the light. Find myself, but not in a good way, either.

I squint into the mirror, eyes reflecting neon light once again – minus the music and the gentle buzz of last night. I sigh, walk back into the bedroom, grab my clothes and start to walk away.

At the door, I hesitate. Look back.

He looks okay. Maybe ...

No, don't go there.

Deliberately, I cross the threshold. Quietly shut the door behind me. Look left, look right. No idea where I am. I step onto the road. Imagine a car careening round the corner, ploughing straight into me. I shake my head.

Imagine the man sleeping behind me opening the door, asking me to stay. Human connection beyond the night. I shake my head again.

Carry on walking.

Into the unknown. Alone. Just like always.