When the daylight has faded

Blind date (#date)

"Come on, love!" My new best friend's voice is slowly penetrating my mental fog. Gently, she pulls my arm. "What are you waiting for?"

I shake my head in an effort to clear my mind, with only very limited success. I do manage a smile, though.

"I bet they're great guys! I'm so excited! Maybe they'll turn out to be boyfriend material. That'd be cool, wouldn't it? I always wanted a boyfriend!" Whenever she is excited, she can't seem to gain control over her mouth.

"Slow down, babe!" I reply, quickening my step. "For all we know, they might be 50-year-old axe murderers or serial rapists."

Jess has finally convinced me of a date with the two boys we 'met' on Instagram. One of them sent Jess a 'Hi!' about two weeks ago, and I have honestly no idea how we got from one 'Hi!' on social media to two blind dates in real life.

"Don't be so stupid!" Jess admonishes me softly. "They sent us photos, and we've been chatting for ages. I feel like I know them already. Especially Jake." Her voice takes on a dreamy quality at the end. I decide to swallow my lecture about social media, grooming and photo shop.

Jess deserves more from me. She welcomed me with open arms when I changed schools and homes about four months ago, trying to erase memories. She has shared her knowledge about the teachers, her friends and now even her potential candidates for eternal bliss with me, while everybody else has been trying to steer around me as if I was a large construction site.

And to a certain degree they are actually right. I just don't know yet whether I am a large construction or demolition site. Anyway, Jess has been great. So I'm determined to make the best of this situation, despite the fact that I don't want an Instagram boyfriend and that I hate today.

"You're right, Jess! Sorry I've been such a grumpy cow. Axe murderers and rapists would probably want to meet in the woods or some abandoned warehouse instead of Starbucks."

Jess gives me a relieved smile and claps her hands like a child at Christmas when her phone rings.

"Yes, she's here! No need to worry, Mr Stevens. Everything is okay," she says into the phone.

There is a pause during which she gives me a very curious look that I try to evade desperately.

I know who is on the other end of the line and why. I'm a little ashamed of making him worry, today of all days.

"I didn't know that, Mr Stevens. I'm so sorry. This explains a lot. No problem, I'll talk to her."

Slowly she pushes the phone into her trousers, turning to me.

"You obviously do know what date it is today," she says quietly. "You left your phone at home on purpose because you didn't want to think about it, didn't you?"

She hugs me tightly. "Forget about the boys. Your dad is waiting at your mother's grave. I didn't know that she died exactly one year ago today!"