~The Queen's Butler...Arrogant~ (Charles Grey x Reader)

Chapter 23: The she-butler, dying

A/N: Just a little update on how I'm doing. I'm much better than I was just a month ago, but in saying that I still could be doing better. I've started anti-depressants and since then I personally haven't noticed much of a change but supposedly everyone around me has. My parents, friends and doctor tell me I seem happier. And a lot of my friends have told me that they find it much easier to talk to me now, whereas beforehand they felt as though talking to me was like walking on eggshells due to my bipolar disorder and how little things would usually send me crashing down very easily. 

But hey, I guess I've improved, and I'm trying my best to get back into writing as a distraction. 

But like I always say, stay tuned folks <3

~

"(Y/n), I already know all of this information."

I shot my head back up, as though I were a deer in headlights, my face a stupid mess with all tears and snot and my eyes all puffy red, bloodshot and wide. Hearing those words felt like someone had just stabbed a needle into my brain, so sudden, so shocking, and I had no idea how to react. 

"w...what?" I uttered out, quietly, sniffling a little though I remained on the floor. 

"I've known for quite some time now," Ciel continued, his elbow on the arm of his chair and his cheek rested upon the knuckles of that arm, "I'm well aware of Alois Trancy's and her majesty's intentions, and we've made preparations into these events."

White noise. My brain just turned to the equivalent of white noise. Static. 

"...why..." I began, trying oh so desperately to gather my words, "...why don't you hate me?"

"Because, (Y/n), I knew that if you at all tried to interfere, you would be executed," Ciel explained as he got up from his chair and walked around his desk, so he could stand before me, "I love you like you're my own sister, and I know that this isn't the job you signed up for."

Carefully, he knelt down in front of me. And with not another word, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a loving squeeze. I only hugged him back, as tight as I could, praying to god that nothing would happen to my dear Ciel. 

~

Grey's POV

From across the dinner table, I could see (Y/n). Of course, she was beautiful as she always was, but in that moment I couldn't notice how her features were blank and tired, and accompanying those features were bags under her bloodshot eyes, as well as her lips being chapped and her skin much less full of colour than it usually was. 

I was concerned for her, and had been over the past few days - ever since she collapsed, that is. I feared that she may be sick - apparently an illness known as influenza had been going around and killing those of a lower class, who couldn't afford medicine to treat it. And if it spread to our child, she would surely perish as well. 

However, something told me she wasn't sick with illness. I knew that look. She was keeping something from me. Though I knew there was no point in asking for whatever that was, she was very stubborn after all. 

Reaching across the table, I laced our gloved hands together, and she looked up at me, startled. 

"You look sickly, my love," I pointed out in a hushed voice, tilting my head slightly, "is everything alright?"
"...y-yes..." she whispered in a groggy voice, gripping my hand back though with only half of her usual strength, "...I'm just tired. Taking care of a child was much more than I thought it would be."
"Hm, of course," I chuckled breathily, looking at her endearingly, "you're doing an amazing job, (N/n). But should you need a break, I'll take over, whenever you need it."