~ sad zone ~

~sad zone rant 4~

I shouldn't feel as bad as I do, but I also should...

There might be a bit of aggression in this rant 

[rant starts now]

Sooo...I have a real shit friend, and stuff happened.

I was on call with other pals who wanted to confront him and I texted him in private giving him a whole paragraph explaining my actual issue with what he did. All I wanted was a fucking real apology, but all he said was like "oh I'm sorry I guess". To be specific I asked him to say it to me, not text it, or at least explain if he's actually sorry and why he is and shit.

Apparently I asked too much. Apparently he's had a bad day. Apparently he'll actually say sorry another day. Knowing him he would've half assed his apology no matter what I did. I ended up telling the people I was on call with about the messages, this in a way raged a small war.

They ended up sending messages based of a sonic meme thing(it was a bit funny but I feel too guilty to laugh) in one they got his pronouns wrong but they fixed it, despite it being a mistake it got him very pissed. Which is fine to be upset about. So he blocked everyone including me. Everyone left the chat, but me. I forgot to. ended up discovering his brand new message. 

He typed 

Oh my god I'm being attacked.

WeI know it's panic and shit or whatever but that got me pissed. He kicked me out the chat and I was fine with that.

At first all I felt was anger cause I was so done with his shit. Now I feel pissed and guilty. I just feel like we could have maybe dealt with it more mature. I know he's not mature and that mature isn't gonna work with him but neither will shit the we pulled...i didn't even participate on the stupid sonic meme joke yet i can only think it's my fault. They were gonna send it if I told them bout the texts or not, but I could've at least gotten them to tone it down maybe. I'm not even sure, it should feel good to have him understand how sad he made me, it's stupid but the fucker  made me cry once, I was telling him and some girl to stop yelling but he yelled at me and told me to shut the fuck up. I only ever asked for a simple real sorry. A genuine one. But I can't get that shit...so I don't know

I still feel bad. I think I should. I also think I shouldn't. 

A part of me wants to fix it but another part of me knows how that'll go.

That's today's rant I guess, hope your doing better than me.

Sorry for the longer than usual rant, drink water, try eating more than me today,(I only ate a bag of Oreos) and remember I'd usually say sleep is propaganda but don't actually take that advice and try sleeping more than me at lea-

Holy shit I think I got possessed...that's what happens when I sleep, the government mind controls me into doing it more and spreading the propaganda!-